Aug 24th ummmmm
Ive been very busy ... illness has left everything undone and way overdue, ive had to make the most of being well and get what i could done some things are sorted some things are cleaned still lots to do................
Last few days ive been tired things have caught up on me, probably over done things at least thats what i hope usually when i get tired its an indication of illness (im not talking end of day worn out tired ~ mine is an all day all night sleepyness that leaves you unable to get out of a chair without the most tremendous effort). im hoping the tiredness is just remenants from being ill and not the begining of something else :S
Well since last time the extension bedroom is about to be plastered at last! the electrician is round tomorrow our main aim to get the room finished for when our son gets back from aussie so about 2 months the lounge is finished but for the flooring not worth getting new till the work has finished. once the bedroom is finished move our boy over to his new room and the rest of upstairs can be decorated and re arranged whoo hoo we have given up our holiday to egypt :( (our 30th wedding anniversary gift to ourselves) because we really do need to finish the house its been going on far far to long.

i've dropped myself from darts :( :( :( im just not playing well i should have won almost all my games played well enough just not been able to get out some of which i think was the problem with my back and leg but ive decided to have a rest from it :( allbeit that i love to play so quite sad really but dont know what else to do at the moment ... feel im just letting the team down :( well thats it for now not much to say just cleaning tidying and clearing .... but with dreams of a finish in sight dreams of holidays can begin again!

Aug 12~
Having recovered from the flu, I found myself caught up in all the stuff that i've not been able to do for way way to long .... Helped finish my grandsons bedroom decoration and my own hallway, ive cooked (those who know me will faint at this lol) and cleaned and hardly sat down.
Saturday i went to my friends bbq lovely night i got rather tiddly for a change did a cartwheel (the game played insisted i did :S ) much to everyones amusement, it also amazingly, seems to have helped my back maybe something clicked back in place but so far so good whoo hoo!. Walked home with my friends only to have some miserable very unpleasant person start shouting at us.... had we been noisy i would have apolgised, however, we were not noisy just quietly chatting on our way home. She picked the wrong night and wrong person i saw red!!! oddly enough despite my loud and various comments she never made another (~hid behind the bed i think lol) ruined a lovely evening grrrrrr and i think i was well overdue for having a nice night grrrr grrr yes im still angry someone had to spoil the only night ive had in months :( :(
Any way so far so good im still feeling well, i did have a snivel yesterday i could easily have slipped back in to the darkness yesterday, someone i care about deeply is moving away, i wont get to see them again :( im wickedly hoping the house doesnt sell or that something happens that he has to stay but deep down i know soon he will be gone from my life hes not one to phone or text hes not on facebook doesnt play computer. I hate the thought he will be gone from my life probably forever if im lucky maybe in years to come i might bump in to him but that will be it.
Its really hard to know some one you love cares little about you and that your not important in their life like they are in yours that they will walk away and forget you existed :( :(
Well there i go again snivelling ~

I have darts to play tonight, to sit with my friends will be nice and hopefully take my mind off things. We really need a win and i need one to show im not totally useless arghhh im hoping my poor performance lately was down to illness although i think my luck has been bad lately too, tonight its time for change im well and it really really is about time my luck changed for the better too!
Well, as of now im back to painting the hall and tuppence is looking at me longingly for a walk down the park. Stay busy stay busy and the sad thoughts will be hidden away, i hope !

~Aug 6th

Still recovering from the 'flu' thing ..no engery.


The pic is our team we won the winter league this year whoo hoo not so hot for the summer season but we have all been down with various ailments hoping it picks up for the winter one think we have to give this one up as a bad job but we wont stop trying to win our games!

I play darts on a wednesday night, I did have to drag myself there last night and would have been happy to laze around at home but one of our players is away so if I hadnt gone we would have lost our points for the whole game :(
I lost my singles game really really shouldnt have done (doing that a lot lately :( :( think it may be my back and sciatica in my leg, at least its certainly not helping) despite playing well i couldnt get the double out, had plenty of chances. Both games Iwas well ahead just couldnt get the double and without it I of course lost.. feel im letting the girls down at the moment :(
But as a team we won over all and I got the out for the 4 aside despite not getting it in my singles game grrr but at least I redeemed myself a little lol!
However, today ive been really tired, I managed a much needed shop (mother hubbard cupboard syndrome) managed to make a cup of tea on my return and then collapse on the sofa for a nap. Im pleased I havent gone back down the path of feeling low flu can do that to you, I really dont want to go back on meds had enough of taking tablets something I really hate! If not asleep I at least have so much to do its keeping me busy after a short spurt of activity my energy level disappears and I sleep again, on a more positive note im very much better than I was, if it was swine flu its not been so bad in my case and others have said much the same everyone seems to have varying symptoms personally ive had worse colds but for the energy loss, it seems to have totally drained me.
Well sleep calls yet again and enough of my rambling for now zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is my beautiful baby tuppence she is a naughty minx and keeps me busy she lifts me up on those days that are not so good and has kept me company through my recovery

Seek Not My Heart

by Kit McCallum

Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies, Do not you hear my heartfelt cries? Below the branches, here about, Do not you sense my fear and doubt? Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams, Do not you hear my woeful screams? Upon the meadows, touched with dew, Do not you see my hearts a'skew? Beneath the thousand twinkling stars, Do not you feel my jagged scars? Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze, For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees. It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies, Accompanied by heartfelt sighs. It's drifting o're the gentle rain, A symbol of my silent pain. It's buried 'neath the meadow fair, Conjoined with all the sorrow there. It's lost among the stars this night, Too far to ease my quiet fright. No gentle winds, seek not my heart, For simply ... it has torn apart.

~Aug 4th
~This is my first blog, I would like to have you join me, I will be attempting to make this life of mine better, not the best of starts as im just getting over the flu. Im also struggling with my back at the moment, I had a back injury some years ago and although I have times when its ok these last couple of months have not been good so you may get to hear a lot of grumbling on that sorry !
Everything has been on hold cos of the flu but as of today I hope to be moving on.