liam

liam
my grandson the yoda lol

Monday 31 May 2010

Impending doom of the approaching 50th arghhh

Oh no oh nooooooo 11 days to go omg ... im officially old ! yes i know its not really that old everyone keeps saying ummm however, in kids eyes your old at 30 and ancient at 50 after that well??

I guess i wouldnt mind half as much if i didnt feel 'o
ld' but lately i ache like never before, the extra stone ive put on is taking its toll to and boy am i feeling it. The second thing that makes it worse are all my friends (some older) and they are running round all spritely and full of energy ... im not being funny but wtf happened to me?

im constantly whining and moaning about my aches and pains and im getting on my nerves let alone anyone elses :( i wanted to see my 50th in a dress size smaller but instead im close to a size bigger :0

My friends have got me vouchers for pampering as the
y asked and thats what i wanted, i think they are giving me this week so i can get all the pampering done for next when its my birthday. Would like a spray tan and some of the new eyelash extensions. Botox will be required sooner or later lol kinda looking sooner, ive decided im not gonna be one to sit down and grow old gracefully i dont wanna look like my daughter but i dont wanna look like mum either just doing ok for a 50 year old would be good but im kinda sagging now, the whole body is suffering.

DIET ummm i cant do it this week, im in binge mode due to that evil monthly thing and its no good pretending im gonna be good im not gonna kid myself im trying but im not gonna beat mys
elf up about it maybe next week i can get my head round it and begin again.

Darts night was good. we got the 3 aside win and a
new huge trophy tracy got runners up in mixed pairs but that was it for winter season, summer season is starting already no break this year, im hoping i feel better by wednesday :/




Friday 28 May 2010

Well Nothing changes does it :( ... more bad news Will went to work thursday asked where he was suposed to be working today ... well thanks mate ... yep they told him thurday night that they have nothing more for him OMG, never left any time for him to look for anything else however, thankfully hes only lost today as he contacted a few people he knew and has a start on tuesday ~(monday is bank holiday here in England) so thankfully phew, the other thing is that hes still not been paid :/ what is it with these people hes now owed 3 weeks wages hes done the work (and its no use them complaining cos hes good at his job ~ yes even i have to say that lol but dont tell him)
I would never employ anyone or have the work done unless the wages or payment was there, can you imagine if you came home after grafting all week and didnt get paid for it? well its far to common in the building game, i get more angry for Will because he works his socks off , the man never sits down anyone can tell you, personally i dont know how he does it, but also he is good at his trade i even let him build us an extension lol bless him ha ha but seriously i feel so sad for him and annoyed and of course there is the fact that we have to live, after the harsh winter our savings are severely dented, i no longer have an income as back up, so its getting harder to manage, i wonder if they are sat having a nice meal and maybe a drink or two, we do know the 'Boss' just went and bought his wife a new car yesterday for £2000.00 whilst owing my husband and some other guys money ??? Will is generally a calm person and did what i couldnt have when the 'new car' was mentioned ... he walked away, sorry but noway would i have done!!
Im glad he has work next week and looks hopeful that it will continue. The thing is the stress that comes with the worry is enormous with things already tight sadly you get idiots like that to work for who want the best job but when it comes to parting with the money they have every excuse under the sun!

Darts finals tonight and tomorrow, tonight is the play offs for those who have got through the knockouts and are playing for the league cups (win and runners up of the season) Mel never managed the last round of the knock outs but Tracy and mixed pair partner has a chance and will get runners up ... tracy mel and vikki are through to 3 aside so will have a trophy and had there not been a certain upset on our last match we may have got the pairs we only needed a point but sadly things were happening with changing venues and other rubbish and we just played badly and a certain member got drunk ~ really should have been dropped from playing :/ oh well next season starts almost immediately, there used to be a break but the knockouts have changed so we dont get one now. Apparrently i was only 2 down on getting the 100's medal for most 100's scored in the season, guess thats about my luck!
Good luck to the girls anyway~ go for it girls!!!

Well its birthdays birthdays birthdays :/ Nick was yesterday viki is on the 12th im on 11th the big 50 :/ :/ :/ ARGHHHH
there are 15 other birthdays 4 more on same day as me and 3 on my vikis birthday but almost one every other day throughout june omg!
My me year has not stood a chance sadly but maybe next year ?? ummm as it says above i live in hope !


Thursday 27 May 2010

im back :)

Im back whooo hooo finally got message from Acer they couldnt repair the pc so sent it back and ive just picked up a new one from the store (not an acer :/) Sooooooooooo good to be back up and running ...just vehicles to sort out now !

Today is my Nicks birthday hes 27 bless him he's had a day off work and has lounged around doing nothing, hes off having snow boarding lessons weekend (false snow i hasten to add)
Love my boy even though i get itchy foot syndrome
from time to time but i have to remember he is a man and you know what they're like lmao!
My Viki will be 31 june 12th so day after im the big 50 arghhh
she a good girl, busy at the moment running around everywhere shes off for a weekend away for her birthday and im hoping perhaps me and will can get away but its hard with vehicle problems and money is a little sparce at the moment but at least we have the SUN ha ha yes its here in England and its been a scorcher for a few days over last weekend, had a bit cooler for 2 days and last night it rained its ok'ish day today but they say its gonna be hot for this weekend too and typically for the first time we have a good summer we have no pool because of the snow damage :( 'SNARL'
its Whitson bank holiday so long weekend the last one till August we will be working on clearing this place again, the roof of shed is now done thank goodness it just getting everything back in it im not sure how all that stuff was in there :/ im sooooo hoping it fits back lmao!
im off to catch up on my blog reading xxxx





Monday 10 May 2010

laptop heap of junk is back in for repair again :/

Well the heap of crap of a laptop ACER is going back again i stupidly bought this one ... more expensive, even though i had trouble with the last Acer, stupidly i assumed it was because the other was a cheapy but now ive learned that its just Acer :/ 'snarl'
After the first and second repair its over heated and not charged and he adaptor port has melted from where it gets so hot, if and when it works i have to lodge the adaptor so it doesnt move and i cant have the laptop on my lap!
So i wont be around much unless i can get on Nicks which is almost a mission impossible lol .

I have no car AGAIN because wills van is in for MOT and repair, then week after next nicks aka my old car needs MOT and we know it needs tyres so who will be without a car again yep MOI!!!

Diet ha ha
here i go again im so trying despite pms/t seems i always make my resolve to try on the one week that its near impossible lol but im trying at least.
I had decided to give up for a while but i so hate being fat :( so im gonna keep trying although i think im gonna give up the gym im not going much and paying lots for it, i have decided to walk or and jog and use what ever other things i have. So im searching for that old aerobics video :S and have got my old exercise equipement out just got to try to put them to use ... that however may be next week as im 'that week' :/

Food is going well so far today im cutting my sugar out as much as possible as per one blogger i follow, im trying to keep up with the bloggers that diet as they do keep me positive as they are doing so well and i want to achieve as they have :)

Im still bit miffed over the arranged weekend, ive not heard from my friends? huh ! im really unhappy about it.
This week isnt going to be much fun, even darts there is now an atmosphere between my two friends and i?, well i feel guilty upset annoyed and just about everything else at the moment and its PMT week grrr i hate it , i hate all this, why didnt they just tell me surprise or not they could have said a month ago ' arranging some thing will be about £200 will, will need a day off work is that ok ?' huh right i can just conjure the money from no where ... we have one income that is already short because hes self employed and didnt get paid the bank holiday weekend and its direct debit week when everything gets paid. Maybe they can do it with a weeks notice sadly i cant!

There i go another shitty week on its way, no money till my transfer goes through week after next :/ worrying about my friends and this damn weekend and im FAT :( and pmt and fed up oh dear what a state to be in grrrr only consolation i had was the aches and pains of over doing things were easing then i cleaned mums carpet and now ive caught my sciatica ...SEE dont matter what i do , i even have crap which isnt of my making :( : (
Sooo im off for a hot bath and a pamper myself session a nap and as its cold again here in England im gonna light the fire and have a hot choccy :D





Sunday 9 May 2010

Happy Mothers day to all overseas celebrating :)

Our mothers day was back in March but i dont mind celebrating twice lol err yeah fat chance of that :/
I do hope all you mums out there have a lovely day xx :)

My mums birthday was 7th shes now 89, she's not to well with a water infection at the moment and her legs are swollen again but she's enjoying the attention shes had the last couple of days being lavished with visitor presents and money lol , not that shes ever really short of visitors but you would think she never saw a sole when in fact my 2 sisters go in daily as do 2 brothers and my Viki, i go when i know i cant infect her with some thing :/ and this old scraggy useless body of mine allows. Then the rest of the family intermittently visit.


I cleaned the carpet for her last night, there is a high amount of traffic with the carers also in and out all day, and it was unbeleiveable how dirty it was however its one hell of a good carpet it wasnt looking to bad i was thinking just a freshen up but it sure is doing well for the age its come up like new!
I made mum payout on a really good carpet many years ago and its more than paid off.

Im still feeling pretty bad about the weekend my friend had booked for me for my birthday, but at the moment with hubby having short weeks and having just found out hes spent more money on a cutter and wasted a bit more on nothing :/ there is no way we could have gone. Im currently struggling to pay round seems every thing wants paying at once this month grrr and the wages are at their lowest, i have a transfer from saving coming through but that wont be here till June, so i will just have to juggle but thanks will for making it just that bit harder ! :/
Feel like throwing bills his way ...let him sort it !

Diet
nope no dieting no gyming and just as this body was healing from all the aches and pains of over working it, i have caught my sciatica :/ not that all the aches have gone anyway, i've struggled to get on with anything all this week and then the upset with my friend well... everything is just out the window :( i cant sort food let alone exercise, i cant think straight at the moment and the 50 looming im now bigger than when i started dieting one more boost up and i will be in a bigger size :( :( im so annoyed with myself !
I dont know what to do at the moment i think ive just got to hit it on the head for a while and live with things till i can get this head of mine sorted a little more, maybe i was trying to soon from being unwell to go out and try to force this old tired ill body in to not eating as much and making it move in places its not done so for a few years !
I so want to get on though ... i thought this was gonna be MY year and so far its not been ... no one solitary thing have i had or done for myself :(

Sorry cant think of much thats good this week, im feeling pretty unhappy with every thing and everyone at the moment. Here i am struggling to keep things on an even keel and everyone around me are just throwing spanners in the works, and guess who feels guilty???
I dont want to do anything today again ;/ and i have such a lot to do.
I will get off my butt and go see if the carpet has dried ok .. get out of this house.
have a good day all XX






Thursday 6 May 2010

hmmmph :/ oh dear oh dear !

Oh dear :/ :/
Sadly i've had to tell my friend that i cant do the weekend thing~ its just to short notice for finances and will would have to lose a days work which he doesnt get paid for self employed and as i dont work at mo we only have his income and our savings which took a huge beating during the winter all the weeks we lost cos of snow :(
She was upset, but i told her she should have told me that i needed £200 so i had time to arrange a transfer and organise things, who was looking after tuppence?? viki and nick would be at work all day friday. Thing got worse with other friend backing out and then booking a holiday to spain :S
Ive apologised but what else could i do she should have consulted me to some extent lovely idea as it was you cant just land someone with some thing like that a week before you go.
DARTS
well well well :/ with everyone upset over the weekend thing and 3 of us pmt of course we got hammered ~ they were the top team but we have beaten them before , but last night well we didnt even get one leg of 3 games, dont think any of us was up to it after the events of the day plus we had new dart board and venue and to tell the truth we are looking again as its not really up to scratch! Having now played there, sadly lots of things amiss so we are gonna have a mooch around may have to play in one of the village pubs nearby which does mean driving every week but needs must i guess.

OH NO THE DIET
oh dear that diet thing, yes im still trying i have worked my butt off with no weight loss and ive eaten healthy and cut down the calories not even half a darn lb 'growl' 'snarl' 'phssst' and other disgruntled noises ... i cant even think of gym at mo im still aching beyond belief i cant even describe it , even sitting down hurts me i feel bruised all over and im still in amazement that after the killer pond episode i did all that work at my viki's house omg ! still waiting on pics from her....

Well, thats the next bit of a rotten week its just got more and more miserable oddly the working weekend we had was really good even though it killed me and we are both absolutely shattered but it seems we are to have little peace ... i so wish people would stop and think about what they are doing and what others would want or be able to do ... my other friend pounced in with we will do a big bbq for you instead and have all your family and friends round i had to say whoooooa no thank you.
goodness me do none of my friends know me at all???






Wednesday 5 May 2010

good intentions bad idea :/

Oh dear, my friend has, it seems, kindly sorted out some kind of weekend away for my birthday (but for this next weekend) apparently a girly weekend. All good intentions but not only did she not mention to me that its gonna cost me £200 but the girly thing isnt happening either another friends husband wouldnt let her come so now the men are coming :(

Sounds awfully selfish and ungrateful i know, but i really dont want to go :/

Firstly the men are coming :( sadly so far in my life every time the men are involved there is some thing that happens ... usually after they've had to much drink ! and will (along with my friends husbands) does not handle alcohol very well usually ending in some upset.

Secondly will and myself have already got a weekend booked away for his birthday and we also get to go any where together any time we want to any place we want .
We have been married 31 yrs we spend most our leisure time together, a girly weekend is some thing i have not had since i was in my 20's so yes im disappointed in that :(

Thirdly its apparently going to cost me £200 which no one has had the decency to mention till a week before going 'errrr yes i will just conjour it up from thin air' ... so no ive had to do a major finance shuffle cancel the van mot till next week which means will has to have my car for work and yep i have no car now !!

Also £200 i could have spent on my merc to get it back on the road or the hundred other things i have been wanting for ages. This year i wanted to be my year, im the big 50, recovering from illness and i wanted it to be a me me me year so far not one thing has been for me and with all good intentions that my friend has had even my birthday is not for me ... its not some thing i want and its going to cost me. Course i wont say any thing but im upset and frustrated, they wanted it to be a surprise well £200 is one hell of a surprise thanks and the men joining us has just dampened it more!

SELFISH yes i know, :( ...but i would rather have had a bottle of wine and a card, last year the girls did a spa day now to me that is a birthday present for me. We had a fantastic day.
All im doing this year is worrying about money and will or/and the other men getting drunk and causing upset! I really really dont want to go :( and i also feel bad about that!!!

Things are not going well on diet either, instead of being a dress size smaller im almost one bigger :( :( despite the fact that i have worked my 'arse' off since friday all through to holiday monday going out at 8am getting in at 7pm eating has been really healthy being at my viki's house i couldnt raid the fridge ha ha well i could but didnt we had nice bbq's and jacket potatoes , salads etc i never over ate and ive not even lost a lb 'snarl' :( I ache beyond belief, i cant describe most of which came from doing my own pond, omg .... it almost killed me off lol
but im not exaggerating ive never ached like this in my life. I dont know how i did all the work at viki's after the pond episode, but necessity forced me on, how unfit am i to be hurting like this ... mega unfit and yet i go to the gym 3 times a week???

Tonight we have our last league match (still have knock outs) the team we are playing need all 4 single wins we need both pairs for the trophys. they are the top team but we have beat them before im hoping we have a good go at it tonight, its at our new venue so no one has had practice on this board. Vikki and i are going to have a look this afternoon err in about half hour ... better move this aching body :/ will let you know how it goes ...FINGERS CROSSED EVERYONE please :) x



My fluffy tuppence

My fluffy tuppence

tuppence

tuppence