I should have guessed really - even just from my poor blogging stats does no one have any compassion ? can no one see all that ive been through that i still get treated badly by them?
My facebook friends are many but most dont participate with me much, some are people that know my family and remain loyal to them and me just because im part of that family . Other are people of people i know and dont really know ME.
Recently i lost 16lb (chuffed to bits by the way :)) its dampened by the fact my friend (who has same facebook friends ) has now lost 10 she got 12 likes i got 3 ?? what did she do that i didnt ?
Yeah i guess it must be me - but why - im an easy going person, i help out any way i can any time ive rarely let anyone down if anything STUPIDLY, gone out my way, causing myself inconvenience.
Ive listened to huge amounts of drunken and sober drama, crap and total drivell, ive advised, lent money, assisted, supported - done all i can for sooooooooo many people you name it ive done it .. what do i get in return ???
I get nothing or i get blamed for their faults, wtf ??? how does that happen ???
what do i do wrong ?? why me?? what??!!!!
Was i wrong to say im not being used ? although that was only after my so called friend went to town on me over nothing :/ throwing up all sorts of rubbish , when i replied she didnt like it and IM THE ONE TO BLAME????? Then to top itm my other 'friend' (whose also been complaining ) is now licking, she still gets to enjoy the dart game i introduced her to, and 'my friends' and thinks its ok that im cast out!
Just goes on as if nothing has happened - no support no loyalty if only the others knew her views were the same as mine ummmm ! but lucky her im not like them! And despite having no friends i dont want to be like them, i wouldnt ever be like that to anyone, deceitful, spiteful, using and abusing - no i would rather be on my own .
How much more unfairness do i have to take ?? - i didnt do anything!!!!!!!!!! :( i give everyone my all, i never ask anyone for anything EVER :( i get little or nothing from anyone, ever ! not anyone!
Family are little different, so i guess its me - i dont know why - i cant change without knowing what wrong, how can i?? do i want to, i pretty sure i dont want to be like them so what would i have to be like? Everyone is happy around me. happy to take. happy to have me help. happy for me to support them, care for them - just not happy to return any thing to me .
As things are, who will notice when im gone?? - few might take note not sure anyone would really care, at least not for long . I know i have no one in my life that will miss me, how sad is that but its ok, ive known for a long time. I guess this is the last straw you can only be kicked so many times eventually you stop getting up.
Its time for me to move away from all this - from all these people that continually hurt me, time for me to go.
Guess i will look at a life alone for now i know i cant trust anyone.
So i depart from my 'dear friends' my family i still fight on for whether they want me or not, they are my responsibility and always will be. As for the rest i will be polite, i will keep my distance, im not destined to have close friends, i know now i couldnt trust them old or new. Old as they have already lost my trust, new because of the old ones, i could never trust anyone i dont know, how could i when the ones i have known intimately have continually let me down, betrayed me, hurt me - how could i trust anyone ever again??
So with heavy heart - tomorrow i start anew - It seems what ever i do is wrong so im expecting little to change but at least no one can blame me for their wrong doings too, all i will be doing in future will be done on my own.
They say dont judge others till you walk in their shoes, well my shoes wore out along time ago - i dont know anyone who would have coped with the hurt loss and pain ive endured this last 7 years, so intense i almost didnt make it. But i move on now because ive not come this far to allow others to put me back there.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“A good friend will always stab you in the front.”
―
Oscar Wilde
“Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”
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Oscar Wilde,
The Critic as Artist
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
―
Oscar Wilde,
The Ballad Of Reading Gaol
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“Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary.”
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Oscar Wilde “Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.”
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Oscar Wilde “America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.”
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Oscar Wilde “The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
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Oscar Wilde “If you are not long, I will wait for you all my life.”
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Oscar Wilde “The world is a stage and the play is badly cast.”
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Oscar Wilde “When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one's self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.”
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Oscar Wilde,
The Picture of Dorian Gray “A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.”
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Oscar Wilde “Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”
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Oscar Wilde “I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.”
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Oscar Wilde “Indeed I have always been of the opinion that hard work is simply the refuge of people who have nothing to do.”
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Oscar Wilde “There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.”
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Oscar Wilde “We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.”
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Oscar Wilde “Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art imitates life.”
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Oscar Wilde “A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.”
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Oscar Wilde “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being”
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Oscar Wilde “To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.”
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Oscar Wilde “Art is the only serious thing in the world. And the artist is the only person who is never serious.”
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Oscar Wilde “There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.”
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Oscar Wilde,
Lady Windermere's Fan “Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”
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Oscar Wilde “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”
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Oscar Wilde “Society often forgives the criminal; it never forgives the dreamer.”
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Oscar Wilde “One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.”
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Oscar Wilde “Women have a much better time than men in this world; there are far more things forbidden to them.”
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Oscar Wilde “We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.”
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Oscar Wilde “Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.”
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Oscar Wilde “There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.”
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Oscar Wilde “Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.”
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Oscar Wilde,
The Picture of Dorian Gray “I like men who have a future and women who have a past.”
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Oscar Wilde “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”
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Oscar Wilde “Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
―
Oscar Wilde,
The Ballad Of Reading Gaol “The nicest feeling in the world is to do a good deed anonymously-and have somebody find out.”
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Oscar Wilde “Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.”
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Oscar Wilde “Yes, death. Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forget life, to be at peace. You can help me. You can open for me the portals of death's house, for love is always with you, and love is stronger than death is.”
―
Oscar Wilde,
The Canterville Ghost
