liam

liam
my grandson the yoda lol

Wednesday 27 February 2013

Better days are a coming :)

Yes they are yes they are :)

Had a lovely day yesterday with my old bestie school buddy Sharon we had lunch, we chatted and reminisced and later i sat and wondered why ive let lesser people hurt me as they have - in the great scheme of things i no longer feel they matter. The sense of betrayal by those i cared for i guess will always be there but they no longer have anything i want, i dont want people that will treat me like that. 
My friendship with Sharon has lasted 50 years - we drifted off in our different directions, (life does that to everyone) her parents moved when she was 17 and although we never lost contact we saw little of each other  but for very few odd occasions, but yesterday was like we saw each other every day thats true friendship  :) We travelled through our school years together our youth our play times our social times everything we did we did together without any problem. There was one wasp in the nest and oddly its the same wasp that i allowed in with the (so called) friends ive now lost. Its given me reason to ponder on ever allowing her near my friends ever again she has a sneaky way of taking from you :/

When you look at friends that have always stayed friends no matter what and are there 50 years later , you look at those that treated you badly and realise you were just a  stand in  for them till they wanted some one else.just used .  True friends dont treat you as certain ones of  mine did. I pride myself on being a good friend, i dont know if they feel the loss of my friendship, but i do know it must have meant little to them.  Loyalty seems some thing that is lacking in many these days.

Today the sun is shining i feel like my 7  years of horror have finally gone and things are moving on at last at the end of 2012 there was an issue finally done with and it was a huge relief and it almost seems that 2012 ended with a slide in to 2013 with better things. Yes sadly i did have another funeral but not such a close one as most others were even almost got out of january but definitely things are better i pray they will stay that way, good things are long overdue.

I've been verily tired since xmas, i need to get back in to routine and better eating but because ive been so tired ive not yet really got up and moved as i would like and its showing on the Diet  :(
sadly nothing much happening just yo  yo ing :/
i need to get sorted now after all i have a cruise coming up !

So  overall this year is feeling good lots of good news lots of improvement, ok not perfect but can finally see the trees in the woods there is a light and a clearing :)
Best of all, the pain in my heart is easing for all the hurt others put there, some special people have pushed it away and filling  it with joy instead. Just a few lovely people have restored my faith and i am finally moving on :)






Cant remember being this young - me with sharon :)
 

 

 

Sunday 24 February 2013

Art show weekend

Well what a poor turn out this year only about 10 paintings sold the whole weekend myself and several other painters who usually sell most their work sold nothing :/ :/

Such a shame they work so hard - people are just not spending the money sadly

First year for me to sell nothing :( the least ive ever sold is 5 out of 6 but several more shows to do this year couple of craft fairs so not all lost and new work to be getting on with :)


I got asked (prob by default) round V's prob cos i was out with T and she wouldnt go without me i dont know if i was part of the offer or an only if  it was a pleasant enough evening almost like old times but some how not quite and guess there will always be some thing missing - maybe its me , i wont ever trust again although i do believe shes still treading very carefully with me - how little she ever knew me :/

Bit of karma on the darts T burnt her hand, i dont wish ill on anyone but it does feel like karma to me !

earlier in the evening i gave D part of the treatment she gives me im in mode of , im treating how ive been treated !

My nephews birthday just eating some of his cake .....
umm leads to the  DIET
and nope doing nothing and getting no where fast :/
however, still trying not given up just starting to feel the tiredness pass maybe then i will get back in mode.

My old school buddy sharon is coming over this week :) :) :)
that will put a fly up T's nose they never really got on  but for me its some thing needed - a good friend by my side wish it could be more often but we will make the most of it :)

so thats it for now got things to do ........beeeeeee back soooooooooon :)
 
 


Thursday 21 February 2013

Things getting better - at last

Well................. despite everything i'm feeling better, things are better
Firstly 

3 members of the family ENGAGED valentines week - my niece beccy with james my brother andrew with ali and my NICK with viri :) :)
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL

Soooo pleased for all of them in addition my nick will be GETTING MARRIED 2nd March in Mexico :) sadly we cant be there as its such short notice but a religious ceremony will be taking place next year - they have bought the wedding forward to deal with other issues but considering the original date for next year to be their 'proper' day. 
I am sad about not being there although its a very quiet on the beach affair still, would have loved to have been there.

The so called friends thing :/  BASICALLY who the f**k cares :) 
When people you cared about can treat you like that its painful, i did nothing to deserve how ive been treated so there has also been the injustice of it all, i guess i will never know why some one i was closest to would be like that - maybe she thought she could get away with it but it blew out of preportion keeping her mouth shut would have been beneficial but any how.....  :/  As for the others didnt even have the decency to ask my side. And the so called bestie friend huh, i still speak and interact with her occasionally i wouldnt give her the satisfaction of thinking there was a problem especially as there isnt other than her selfish behaviour, and lack of loyalty for a second time. I wont forget ! 
I am pretty much moved on i thank a freind B for giving me back a bit of self worth in front of them, maybe they might have looked on and saw they have lost too ?? i hope so.
Theres no going back no more darts for me :( loved the game,  had they really put things aside i would be back, but they didnt offer,  had they truely put things aside things would have been put back as they were,  but nothing and some even are almost indifferent to me  nothing has changed except acknowledgement of each other.  Im now treating as im treated. V has made an effort especially since my girl B put her nose out of joint a bit i think :D but thats as far as i want it to go i dont want or need the friendship now, the chances have passed. I want to be with others doing other things i want to move on from T too i dont truely like her any more.

They say God doesnt pay his debts in money - well a little karma one has injured the darts hand ? umm  .... others have had other problems and although i dont wish ill on anyone, they never cared about me or how they hurt me - so karma - thank you i hope they learn a lesson what goes around comes around !

NOW the diet :/ :/
So got to get my bum in gear - not doing so well cant get moving - not felt so good since christmas been very tired, sick several times and the menopausal rubbish kicked in big time - im gradually moving again but not out of this tired zone and i have a holiday coming up and obviously weddings  I miss the biggest loser it was an inspiration to me i got and exercised with them ughh uk tv is rubbish - i dont want to be paying out on sky as there is only me and i want my money going else where :/  Still trying though thats the main thing - isnt it???

So thats it folks .. for now  pleased with the good news pleased with many things so far this year - feeling im moving on and things are getting better and well, thats what its all about :) 
posting some photos :D of the happy couples 




nick and viri



beccy & james


Ali and andrew
  

Tuesday 5 February 2013

plodding on ....

So things on a slow mostly boring level .. ive been very very sleepy expecting to come down with some illness (its the only time i get sleepy) but nope ! nothing , even though ive been totally achy and exhausted :/

I have dragged wilf out a few fridays and OMG T has dragged me out in between being all friendly and attentive although it is possibly because she has no one else ..  shes bit like that!

D&J have pretty much ignored me - why they wanted to 'put things aside' ?? who knows just to snub me all over again so i just now let them get on with it

V has made and effort to speak, she did invite me to a girlies night out for darts - (she owes me darts money)
i declined as im not part of the darts team they can have their darts and nights out im not part of it and dont feel i should or want to be included.
I don't think its gone down to well shes not been so forth coming since although has still spoken.

This thursday i went to yet another funeral - i say yet but its the first this year and hopefully the last :/
D pretty much didnt know where to look to avoid us all night - think its time to tell her to go do one - she neednt worry i dont want her as a friend or even talking to me i did NOTHING to her she just listened to V's rubbish.
However, Karma kicks in nicely some times. We went out Friday and were surrounded by people that like us care for us and enjoy our company (and we theirs :) )  V was there and one lovely lady who ive got to know was being really friendly and lovely to me whilst V stood alone for most the evening - i did speak to V and did try a couple of times but she had put her head in her phone clearly as she had no one - well thats her fault not mine!! Wilf and i sat chatting to some guy we know and laughed lots came home feeling really happy - the awful night before because of D's ignorance and rudeness over rode by decent people :) :)

Other news - The diet :/
not so good im getting no where fast :( cant get in mode but its probably this tired thing i have i need to go to docs ... still im still trying!!!

Art exhibit end of the month need to get and sort things like that
My besty school friend who i dont get to see is now on FB whoooooo hoooooo we still exchange cards but rarely get to see each other so thank you FB  :) :)

The lounge tiles  - still not complete but almost   - the house is a pig sty, building site, shed rubbish tip, crap hole! with just a few bits in between that look nice for photos :/ so the work goes on i want this done this year enoughs enough!
AND we have a cruise to pay for and go on :) and a car to buy so need to crack down on things.


update when i can get back peeps ~:) have a good week !


My fluffy tuppence

My fluffy tuppence

tuppence

tuppence