February F off :/

The worst month of any year ! Horrible horrible February.
Dreary cold wet im sooooo tired of it already

Everyone is ill ... yep everyone! all sniffing and coughing and wheezing near me and i already feel like poop warmed up

Stress from work, Fibro flare up agony pain wipeout im soooooooo tired :/

THAT DIET  ARGHHHHHHHHH

Jeez that diet its not happening .. i have to resign myself to the fact i cant do it at the moment :(
Im so tired and sad its just not gonna happen but im desperate to sort it im just getting fatter and fatter bad choices from being to tired to choose any thing but a quick high fat processed rubish garbage food :'( my body hurts how can i exercise i dont know how i get out of bed i certainly have no idea how i get through work ??? i just collapse in a heap of pain aches and exhaustion beyond belief

So what can i do ? im hoping some how i can cleanse my body and it will help but i  have to change the gerneral routine i have because its not helping me i have mega craving for sweet foods anything sugar and the more i eat of it the more i want :/ im looking to see how i can combat the cravings i tried going cold turkey - didnt work :/ i need to find how i can reduce without noticing to much at least at first.
I think some foods increase my problem with fibro as the times ive managed to juice it definitely helps but i cant get into this time i manage half a day then binge then manage another half day then comes the 2nd binge and im really worse off
Well  ... what now ... im not giving up i will continue to try, i just have to find a way
i begin again tomorrow ... i have to do this to help my health its no longer just a i look like a honey monster my legs are aching and why not look what they are carrying !

so day at a time good or bad i will have to see how i go

Work has calmed down maybe that will help and i have 2 weeks off whooooooooop

Daughter in law is still in mexico i had hoped to impress her with a good weight loss instead im probably heavier but i have to stop beating myself up about it, ive been unwell i have to recognise i cant do thing until im ill, i have to learn to manage this fibro and see if certain things trigger it, i understand from other sufferers that cold doesnt help nor does stress both of which i have a lot of at the moment ... i so wish i could juice i know it helps so again arghhhhhhhh

Not much else happening ... just the lots of work lots of sleep lots of pain lots of doing nothing :/
this isnt living is it ?

Remember the non friends friends
i dont really like them ... how bad is that ? im still friends with them but they piss me off !
ummm maybe thats dragging me down to but who do i have without them ? yep mr nobody i like my wednesdays and actually we laugh and enjoy but something has gone and whilst here i probably appear 2 faced its not that at all they are my friends things happened but betrayal takes some thing away leaves and empty place that will never be filled by them again and yes i have them as friends but they are not my soul friends as they used to be they are like anyone i know very well your friendly and kind but your not bosom buddies just friends. i say i dont like them anymore actually i mean i dont like a lot of their behaviour , do we become blind in friendships i see them so differently now and they do the same things but jeez they do erk me :/ why did i not see all this before?
oh well another bug to bare and i dont know what to do about it ... go it alone or put up and shut up ... ive still not made up my mind maybe some thing will happen one way or another ... i need to have some thing help me passed this piggy in the middle thing go one way or another jayne make up your mind instead of playing both sides its wearing me away  ... maybe the gemini in me 2 choices and geminis are torn because both please or annoys so there is no choice but both ways ... i need something to happen to guide me over i guess

so mundane dreary february begone  ... i dont like to wish my life away so much  has been lost to illness but i need some sunshine warmth and things to move on

Getting over things

So ... January is near to the end, its flown by

I'm still doing much the same, overloaded at work and not dealing with it very well, ive turned in to a whining whinny but fed up of doing other peoples work if they are not capable they shouldnt have the jobs arghh ... see here i go again :D

im also still cleaning and clearing this never finished anything house. My daughter in law has gone back to mexico for 7 weeks, she was a bit home sick i think it will do her good and it give me a chance to have a good sort through things here  as son and hubby at work grandson is staying at his dads so just me and the dog. ive done a load of overtime at work but thats it for now so my time is back to being mine for a while :)

THE DIET
oh yeah :/ ... well i started off good .... its been up and down, ive really acheived nothing :(
On friday i had my hair done, did a bit of shopping got some clothes came home and i was really good had some home made tomato soup was lush ... i sat back on the sofa and had an over whelming
tiredness i assumed it was because i had done a long shift (12 hrs) and then running about all morning plus my sleeps is still rubbish, so i trotted off to bed time was my own so nothing to stop me having a much needed snoooooooze zzzzzzzzzz i woke about 7pm and i was in pain YEP  i have  a fibromyalgia flare up WHAT THE HELL triggered that :'( well i couldnt do much at all just slept form the exhausted wipe out that i get with it but at least with so much sleep i dont notice the pain until awake :/ i went to sisters saturday evening and we had a chinese of which i ate little, sunday i barely drank my skinny latte (my sister and i have a family catch up time each sunday over a coffee)
i came home and stuck the juicer on ive for the most been juicing and thank goodness the fibro eased, im not sure how i got through monday but tuesday it had gone down to a bruised feeling and wednesday tender but i got done and the wipe out feeling passed enough i got to play darts too. The juicing has helped, other flare ups have lasted weeks and on occasions i thought one coming i have juiced and its held it at bay and passed hence my not suffering as i did when first diagnosed but this one i didnt see coming. So i should have lost a few lbs  ... but nooooooooo :/ why the hell not ??? has my body gone in storage? i have had a few naughty moments but nothing major, my calorie count site shows all my stuff as good no high fats or anything and im under my calories (but only by default) so why have i not moved the scales ... Today i decided to continue juicing, i still have the fibro i am eating with the juicing but only veg and fruit, i did a stir fry for lunch which was really nice and refreshing and ive had a home made soup so i know no baddy sugars or anything, ive had a couple of sleeps and i got up late so the fibro thing is hanging around but the way i felt friday i knew it was going to be a bad one :/  Im pretty sure juicing / healthy eating has helped me im sure i would be suffering more had i not juiced ... one hell of a good reason to get this diet going just wish the weight would vanish along with the pain !

General things
ummmmmmmm not much happening as i said above ... hubby and i do get to go to see the Roy Orbison story saturday thanks to my daughter buying us tickets
My 'friend' is having burns night following saturday which i sooooo dont want to go to :/  i need a good excuse, i just dont like how her 'celebrations' have got .. they are to rowdy for me, i do love a good party but hers are just not enjoyable these days  ... maybe down to the company she keeps ... not really a maybe about it!.

No news on my niece as of yet shes holding her own, i hope she gets some time i hope she gets a lot of time, we know its not going to be long but i hope its much longer than they have assessed   Bless her

Im not exhibiting this year .. just to tired i hope to start again but ive been dropped from the local one as they make room for 'new' artists well i sold a lot of my paintings and made them a lot of money i hope they regret their move as i wont be going back.
i have 2 other local ones i sell at but this year im on a break, i need some me time.

well thats my news so far ... january blues - february dull drums to come :/ :/ hate this time of year roll on spring or even better summer !

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Where do we beging for 2016
Firstly HAPPY NEW YEAR I SO HOPE ITS A GOOD ONE FOR ALL :)

Secondly New years resolution
Well i dont really do them but its a good time to start a new with things and one of the usual is the DIET  ughh

So .... the diet
AHHHHHHH 3lb first week :) :)
without much effort which im pleased with so here we go ......

As i said in my last post our new year isnt going to be a particularly good one we had sad news  but until that happens i think we must think of her and she wants things to be as 'normal' as possible so until things change we will go on as if we knew no better.

I was back to work just after xmas and im doing mega overtime covering peoples holidays and illness - extra money is nice but it helps with the big bad diet thing and keeps me busy. But im really tired im hoping my healthy eating will at least give me better health ... we will see.

My daughter in law goes back to Mexico for 2 months im hoping she decides to do the next 2 1/2 yrs in which she can do her citizenship otherwise it would mean all this visa stuff again plus 5 yrs begin again . Shes been home sick for some time it will do her (and her family good) and if when shes back she plans to stay she will be looking at getting a job which i think will give her a new outlook friends and be much more beneficial to her well being here in the uk

So on wards through 2016  ... lets have a good one ... at least as good as we can
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★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★
★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★
★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★