liam

liam
my grandson the yoda lol

Thursday 14 September 2017

every thing is changing and everthing is disappearing

Sad news this week , the local fair after 100's of years will no longer come to our town fking councilors its a long story im to upset to write about it at the moment

But its not the only thing thats gone
our local show was lost to us last year
so many of the starts i grew up with on tv/films etc
so many people i grew up with loved cared for part of my childhood
i dont think i will get any more grand children :'(
i will soon have to give up my job
my lovely merc sits neglected
bridezilla daughter
allergic reaction all over my face
even the parcels ive ordered are disappearing from my doorstep grrrr





just a few i can prob add to the list

ill health dogs me i get over that awful depression anxiety agriphobia but i get fibromyalga pretty much as bad if not worse the pain is bad enough i cant explain how bad when you cant even sit without feeling the edge of a chair like a knife blade cutting into you but the tireness omg its sooooooooooo horrible i dont have the energy to move how can you tell others that your whole body aches and is in pain but also you have so little energy even if it didnt you cant move when you sleep but dont feel like youve slept for an eternity when you dont know how you dragged your bum off the sofa to go to the loo but you contemplate peeing yourself because you dont know how youre going to move to get to the loo


i feel so sad all the time tired and drained the other nasties almost dont matter but they kill me too :/

many of you will think ahh yeah shes depressed again .. but im not i am sad so many losses i dont think i can do any of it anymore

Friends that treat you badly and even when they leer back in  your life they are not the same and i wonder why they or i bother .. do i wipe out all those i have known and cared for .. i dont feel they care about me always last on the list .. friends are not like that not real ones

my daughters wedding im clearly on there to pay not like other mums to go choose the dress or have any say in anything ;'(

my lovely dog my girl has been ill and i keep thinking shes 9 now i have to hope and pray she will be the one that lives a good long life and scares me to think i might lose her :(


so here i am again with my miserable posts that no one reads tired old and fat and cant get it sorted

why am i here .. just to suffer i know others are worse off than me but i dont think i can take any more there is no strength left

work tomorrow so i must rally round go sleep and try again in the morning

My fluffy tuppence

My fluffy tuppence

tuppence

tuppence