Hello hello hello :)
big clear up today the decorations and tree are now down i was gonna leave it to sunday but decided i needed to start clearing the outside lights will stay as its snowy and freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing out there :S

My next task is to sort out my paintings for my exhibit in feb have 6 to do arghh omg i really need to get going on it dont want to lose my place. im quite happy with the couple ive started but only have the month to do all 6 and they are oils which also need drying time ... can see some of the old stuff on flicker link

Thing that im gonna be doing at this precise moment is have a cup of tea work out my new diet whilst i laze in front of a lovely roaring fire ... no lazing as of monday i really really need to get my head and body working at losing the weight and getting some fitness back.
I dont feel quite well enough to start job hunting,but will soon need to, i would like to get back in to office work part time but i know my concentration levels are still down near zero and obviously you really need to be thinking about what your doing in that sort of enviroment. I dont know what other options for jobs i can look for at the moment, our savings are very low now (almost extinct :S ) spent on finishing (well almost~) the long term build of the extension i have a temporary but nice workable kitchen (actually its nicer than some untemporary kitchens ive seen :/so im not complaining :)) most rooms have been given a quick lick of paint de-dusted lol and general clear up although still a way from finishing. Financially however, with losing my very good income and wills erratic earnings in the self employment building game where work is slow (if you can get it at all) im begining to get worried other than a couple of things we are paid up till feb but money is running out fast :( our investments cant be cashed in one still has 2yrs and other is 7yrs seems odd to have all that money and we are sat here with nothing :S but im pleased i put some away when i did i believe it would all have vanished by now) at least we will have some fall back even though we are looking at lean times at the moment. We will get by, we have been here before and maybe a little worse but im a worrier and i have to try and make sure worry of money doesnt start dragging me down im still fighting to get out of the dark hole i really dont want to slip back down after the climb ive had (not sure i could do it again :'( ) Sooo a job would be good, i may look for a little cleaning job although all jobs are scarce at the moment but at least it will be some income.

Well guess i had better get on, nick is back from his trip and along with will it looks like they want feeding :( arghhh
then back to sort this diet thing out... arghhh again lol quicker i do it quicker i get to sit back by the fire and get another cup of tea going :Dxx

I DO BE BACK WHOOOOOHOOO :)
Am so glad to get comp back yeahhhhhhhhhhh ... although all is not fine ... after going back a second time (which it seems they did nothing as it apparently charged for them) they told me it was possibly the charger ... well why havent the fixed it?? but ive got new charger (not that i will tell them, they can replace the other one as its only 5mths old) comp is up and running although it appears to be over heating and has cut out now several times, so they may be getting it back yet again and i will be computerless whilst they hold on to it for days doing nothing (12th dec -28th to do nothing hmmph!) but enough of that acer crap computers !

Well 2010 wow ... this is first xmas we have had trouble free no deaths accidents illness or trauma phew!
Also first xmas i have cooked in 5 yrs ..from nicks accident onward i spent most xmas's at hospitals and funerals and also not having a kitchen, others cooking for us ..going to my daughters or sisters for dinner, this year i decided i owed them a meal lol
Hate cooking as i do (and plus feeling a little rusty and lacking in confidence) i am so chuffed with myself (changing my name to jaynie oliver pmsl :P ) my turkey was lush and moist absolutely superb even if i do say so myself (but sis and everyone said it to :D ) i did the jamie oliver gravy wow i could have eaten that on its own was delicious, i will seek out recipe and put it up its well worth a go sooooooooooooo yummy
yorkshire puds rose and were fab as were my roastie potatoes (which im lucky enough to some how turn out perfect every time and even the die hard moaners praise me for them and cant stop eating them lol ).
im well pleased with my self as you may see he he he!

I was worn out by the end of the day but did a large tea buffet and we just picked later in the evening, sister and her hubby alan were tired as alan, had his dad taken to hospital and they had been there till 4am the previous day, but they stuck it out here and finally went home about 11pm (alans ' dad is now out of hospital :))

Ihad some superb pressies viki got me the electric tooth brush i asked for but also managed to get me the hair dryer also, as both had been reduced in price so i was well pleased to get both .. my nick got me 2 snudehill art decco figurines which i adore and had only ever managed to get 2 of so far so i was really please , they look lovely (did have to check sisters handbag before she went she been after some too lol )
I never got a pressie from will my present will be to have my lovely merc back on the road so new wheels from him :D they are very costly and other work needs to be done too but thats my goal for this new year :) My sister got tuppence a pressie omg ! lol hat and scarf heres a pic with the hat on lol

Awww bless her pmsl



Will and i slept all day saturday on and off , we hardly moved, will was well overdue for a rest and sunday we did very little too ,its been sooooooooo soooooooooo long overdue and the rest clearly shows as comments have already been made about how rested and chilled hes looking.
we spent monday evening at my sister in laws and saw some of hubbys family who we dont often see AND the dreaded mother in law (easier to stay other side of room and no contact where shes concerned ) all went peacefully and we had a nice evening.
We celebrated new year at my friend tracys house she invited the girls from our darts team and their partners (and a lot of other people many didnt make it but the house was full) it was a superb evening, my viki came till 1am then went off with the new boyfriend... liam came in for an hour went to his dads at 10am was good to see him (we dont get to see him very often now :( )
Despite being on the wine '2 glasses and usually im well gone' lol i didnt manage to get drunk and felt as sober when i got home at 5 45 am as i did when i went round oh well i tried my best lol i fortunately dont suffer hang overs he he (much to some of my friends dismay when they cant lift their heads off the pillow next day pmsl~) , so i was all up for getting very drunk, i live one house away from tracy so easy to crawl home and snow had thawed (had a flurry of snow back today hope it thaws again tomorrow arghhh will needs to be working monday :( :( ) the drunk thing just didnt happen for me and it seems to me a few others were not so drunk either so i accused tracys hubby phil of watering the wine down ha ha ha.
Will and i have lazed again today but here i am at 5am unable to sleep not that its unusual for me to be up at this hour any way :S. im intending to get in to some regular sleep pattern if i can this year.

Nicks away at mo cos his xmas pressie to his new girl was new year eve trip to london visiting the zoo, madame tussaudes, luxury meal, ice house place and champagne on the london eye, fireworks in trafalgar square to see in the new year then the night in a very exclusive hotel ... not heard from him yet i guess they stayed the day and did a bit more sight seeing lucky things :)

So all in all a good xmas and new year but :( on that nasty darker side of things ... viki has had a little trouble with neil ( i do so understand how hurt he is especially xmas)
hes gone off on one ranting about her being at mine with her new man how his xmas is so horrible etc in fact viki picked him up xmas morning and took him to see liam and the dog then run him back to his sisters she came over to us for xmas day and boxing day (inclusive of dog who was so well behaved and to our suprise so was tuppence )
we havent even met the new man let alone had him to quote neil 'playing happy families' so i have had a few words with neil quietly to tell him to calm down, viki has now cut him off of face book and ive tried to tell him if he continues he will damage the little bit left and she will put a stop to him seeing liam, although hes been like a father to our grandson hes not the biological father and has no rights
( i dont think viki would be so mean but she would cut down visiting if he continued to make it distressfull) i think he got the message , i told him gently not to put seeing liam in jeapordy and he appears to have calmed down at least for the moment :S .
I also pointed out that whilst ranting at viki hes the one who has plastered all over face book about his new woman (and has the photos of them together) not viki, her profile is of her and liam, neils, is of him and his new woman having a kiss and cuddle along with comments (prob some what for viki's benefit, not realising it had the opposite effect cos shes happy 'hes moved on' allowing her to do so ) i think i have got him to understand he cant rant at her when hes doing the same his self or rather she wasnt and he was :S
Any way i hope things stay calm between them i do feel for him bless him, but i guess thats life :( and clearly my viki is lots more happy... i was worried sick not so long ago she had a moment having got drunk of jumping out in front of cars to kill herself so clearly something was wrong, although they always seems ok together but viki keeps things very much to herself and i know she hasnt wanted to worry me to much knowing how ill ive been.
Well its the new year now i wished neil a happy new year and hoped he has a new year new start, i hope that for all of us too ... we now have two new people in our family and many losses, in various ways, some moved away, end of relationships and unfortunately many many deaths. I spent a moment today remembering all those we had lost but now its time to move on ive greived for many years now and though i dont think the greiving will totally go, i need to stay well and think of the positive things .

This year is new year new me, this is my year to look after myself , as of monday i will be back at the gym, new diet (please give me the strength to manage one this time i seriously need to lose this weight ) ... time and money is gonna be spent on me, ive had very little over the past few years this is my pamper year, fit, well and spoilt :D

I so hope every one has had a good christmas
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
5.15 am and time for bed xxxx night all x

HUH what the hell??? lap top died on me its just come back apparently repaired but its not charging so back it goes :( GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR will has no work typical every xmas ~:( :( nicks car has also died a death engine gone so he has no car, so hes got mine :(.... so adds up to no car no laptop no money no xmas arghhhh!
New year has so got to be better than the last 4 i dont think i can do another crap year :'(
oh well back to booking in the laptop and make the most of it while i have battery life


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HAPPY XMAS AND NEW YEAR EVERYONE
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hope its gonna be a good new year :)

Had my nap (errr rather long sleep much needed i think) was suposed to clean im just soooooooooooo not gonna bother im gonna do some dinner and then sit down again :( If i can breath properly next week and the cough is managable (or rather ~gone !) i will be back at the gym my friend will be back from Egypt (where i should have been) so all back to normal but im not gonna suffer the gym with this cough it kills my head and im also tired of trying to carry on when im ill.

Went through lots of paper work first thing mainly cos the car needed taxing :( i sorted a lot of things got rid of the rubbish and things are in a bit more order im gonna count that as my cleaning for the day te he he!

Well, im almost over yet another ailment grr if anyone breathes any thing on me before xmas i will so become a murderer :S!!! Still have hacking cough and it hurts my head, omg i have never had such a headache in all my life, absolutely nothing helped couldnt lift my head off pillow for 3 days and im not exagerating hubby had to give me water via straws :( he then went down with it for 2 days (this is the man that never gets anything and never stops working what ever happens) for it to knock will off his feet it must be an evil one :S

Nick is in his new room skirting has not had top coat but i need to start clearing up for xmas 27 days omg, i have just got Liams xmas pressie one down many more to get lol Nick has money for aussie for his main pressie but looked and cant see any litte nick nacks i might get him .. or the others viki had my previous 18mth laptop which only had the charger wrong with it (GROWL trauma i went through to get a new one cos it wasnt going ! just by chance i plugged it in and there it was going in all its glorry) Vik didnt have a laptop of her own so it was a nice pressie so just nick nacks for her too.
I have won yet again at darts so far no losses which is good start who know maybe i will get cup for the most wins and in pairs this week me and vikki beat one of the top players playing with yet anther very good player and we thrashed then whooo hooo :)D
Well i have to go for a nap im bit tired still in recovery then once revived i have lots to do omg where to start ummmmmmmmmmmm will think about that after my nap.

Ummmm i could be on the mend .... i can lift my head off the pillow now and sit up i think the horse has stopped trampling on my head and is now just laying on it :S ive been up most the night so maybe another good sign as i sleep lots when ill and little when well sooooo fingers crossed , however , ummm hubby is up and complaining of a headache and feeling unwell (hes never ill) i find it hard to be sympathetic only because firstly he doesnt appear ill and the great drama he is creating usually comes with im gonna have a day off work , not that i care other than dont lie just say you want a day off ffs! grrr when he develops the cough temperature and actually starts to look ill i will be a bit more sympathetic till then i will class it as man flu sniff once think they are dying syndrome, You may think heartless woman but having had no sympathy myself since ill no help not even a cup of tea (except from my daughter viki) and getting up to see my house looking like a tip whilst lazy so and so's found it to hard to put a cup in the dish washer let alone all the other stuff they have used and the house in general disorder you may have little sympathy yourself ... well its gonna have to wait they can live in it and when they run out of cups who knows they may wash one up ... cant see it happening with their clothes though they can go round grubby and smelly hmmmph not one single cup of tea from any of them well they can get on with it !!!

Feeling really rough ... dosed up again but nothing is moving this horse thats trampling on my head :( been laid up 2 days now and just back off to bed had my first cup of tea tasted really naff yuk... dont think i can stand any more hot lemon ewww omg if i find out who give me this i will have to kill them!!!