Busy weekend ahead ... over viki's to finish what we started, today hubby had to face the taxman, woo him with our figures and thankfully all went well and that at least is out the way.
From there off we went to viks , we needed to get few bits of preparation done so we can go full swing tomorrow and half way through it peeeeeeeeeee'd down :/
I was lucky enough that i could sit out of it with tuppence (now a nice colour of mud :/ ) whilst will tried to get on but we managed to clear and do all that we had to, but with impending rain tomorrow too, we are wondering if we will get to finish.
This is as far as we got last year ....the square in the middle is to be done and the grass area at the top by the house.. a bbq to build and the old dog pen taken down as diesel now lives with neil. We also need to put a small fence up to stop the chickens going up to the patio area which is now huge over 200 slabs on the bottom area alone!
Its a big big garden, and so is the front but she also has a side area, we have already built a wall to divide the area so she is private at the side/back.
Our next task will be to put a decent drive way in.
We have already fitted a kitchen, new floors, altered walls, plastered (and more) inside as it is a very old old house with little done over the many years its been there.
The drive will be the last thing (we hope lol) anything after that is just general decoration, thank goodness !
Ive not been on for a while due to the aches and pains i have got from doing our pond ...OMG! have i ached, i really cant tell you how bad its been ouch ouch ... i could hardly walk, darts was very difficult (although i did really well against a county player .. didnt win but boy did i make her sweat and earn that win lol!)
Im still sore and aching ... really really so ... it clearly was a mega work out, i think it did more than any gym would do!
Ahhhh little things pleases little minds ha ha ha !
The girls left to right :- cotton aka rita, brenda, me aka bambi ha ha. cinderella yes thats her real name, and ziva her real name too :)
I think i said once before that i play yoville on facebook and one of my yoville friends decided to send our group a charm bracelet, each bead has a story of our freindship and yoville antics lol ...we have now all been sending each other beads, Rita aka cotton.. sent the bracelet to each of us which had a bunny due to the Easter outfits we lived in for some time lol and also a personal one, mine was a teddy as i was unable to edit my teddy for weeks and had to carry it around with me, i have since received a triple heart from brenda as i always put the heart smiley up on screen, cindy sent a lucky horse shoe, she was first to get one and we all gave her lots of grief over it haha so she sent all of us one and hopefully lots of luck with it, yesterday i got the one from ziva, shes been praying for England to give me some sunshine, much needed after being ill , so from her i have a smiley sunshine bead.
I have sent Rita the queen bee of yoville lol she rules the roost and has a lovely bee outfit we are all envious of, i also found a bead called cotton candy apt as she has a second avatar called candy lol.
Cindy, i sent a little devil , i call her the devil woman as she is our 'bad/naughty' girl ha ha
Brenda, bless her, i sent praying hands, her mother has had cancer and she has always asked us to pray for her mum which we do of course, last week she had news her mums tumours have vanished :) Ziva had got her a guardian angel and she had her lucky horse shoe of course, apparently she sat with her beads as she was told the result, What a lovely story to relate back.
For ziva , our smoker :/, because she felt others (not us) disapproved, she used to say she would go for a glass of milk, some thing came up about her turning into a cow she had so much errr 'milk' lol , so now she says shes going mooing, i was chuffed to bits i got her a 'silly moo' cow ha ha still have to laugh at it.
They are wonderful girls and have been there for me during my illness when the most i could manage was a few times a week on fb or yoville, in my good times and bad they managed to make me smile and did so on days i thought it would never be possible.
How odd this game yoville has bought me some special friends in my life and we are now looking at meeting in the USA Boston area next year, i almost cant believe it :D and really cant wait!
A few people laugh at us on this silly game but its become more than that, during a really bad time for me it was a small light and from it i was lucky enough to meet such special people cos behind the game, like me, those people are real :)
Well its getting late im tired and lots to do tomorrow ... news on diet errr what diet :/ although, in saying that, ive been so busy what with that grr pond and stuff, ive eaten lots less so maybe when i get round to facing the dreaded scales again fingers crossed i will be pleasantly suprised ...... well i do live in hope! xxx
Its been a lovely weekend, YES the sun has been out in England :) we were supposed to go away for wills birthday but a mess up with our finances didnt allow us so we have re booked for 2 weeks time.
We sorted the pond ewww and worked till late saturday. Sunday we continued our garden work as the sun was still there and warm whoo hoo we never had barby food so i cooked a roast and we sat in the garden for our sunday dinner even nick joined us from the depth of his little hovel of a room lmao!
Sooo why today am i feeling low?? Im worried about the money i know because its not been sorted and our savings is in a 4 week transfer account which means without the wages being sorted we have a long wait which we cant do :(
I paid round, and would normally leave some in the bank but i didnt this week just to much to pay out but i knew wages were due in so it didnt worry me to much but oddly i did have this horrible feeling it wouldnt be there ... just because we were going away, when it wasnt there again today it left me feeling sick. Any time i think we are gonna be short i put in a transfer so we have back up but we've not been short and didnt think it was needed. The current employers pay up fine every other time so why not this week they keep saying its been put through the bank but obviously something is wrong :/ :/
Why am i letting a glitch like this make me feel this way ? Yes im worried thats what i do :/but its not a crisis situation we will get by, we do have money just cant get it!
What is worrying me more is this really low feeling i have, there is stuff i need to do but in all attempts so far today ive not been able to move much more than to eventually fetch a long needed cup of tea, its scaring me ... so dont wanna go back to this!
I;ve been a little worried about tups she was shaking and definately not herself, i think she must have ate something (actually she eats everything except her dinner:/) but shes ok now, shes very dirty after helping in the pond and garden ( ive cleaned the carpet again that she helped change the colour of)
I was keeping an eye on her ready to call the vet but shes back to her old self so im assuming it was tummy ache. Little MINX
Ive been reading blogs to hopefully to take my mind else where and at least its some thing other than crying, worrying or sleeping my day away.
So many bloggers out there has such a lot of support, many are struggling in similar ways to me, some with depression or/and weight even just the reality of daily life being a nightmare, some cope better than others, some like me collapse for a while, but the comments of support are so lovely, kind, caring people and i love reading them.
Im annoyed im feeling like this after a good weekend i actually almost felt normal. SNARL!!
Friday the girls and i sorted out our new darts venue, but went on to have a girly session all verily tiddly lol was an unexpected extremely good night and started off the weekend nicely, our plans were scuppered but with the sunshine we were quite happy to sit at home and enjoy it. We have lots done and a sense of acheivement along with dirty nails ewww :S
KICK ME UP THE BUM :/ i need to move and get out of this dull drums , it scares me any time i feel low as i dont feel i have any control now, nothing to stop me from drowning.
Im off now, take tups for a walk and maybe wake myself up from this and get on with sorting stuff!
Seems every time i get something sorted 20 other things join the queue,.
BEAM ME UP SCOTTY ummph even hes not there when you need him lol
ok tups walk then house work i guess :(
I do not lie ... i thought i was in summer this weekend :) the worrying thing of this beautiful april is the last twice we have had sunny aprils we have had no summer at all :/ but we are out there making the most of anything we get!
Was hubbys birthday and kids are paying for a night away in a posh hotel however we had to cancel and re book for 2 weeks time bit disapointed but then the lovely weather came and we were glad to have the opportunity to get out in the garden.
We attacked a lot more than we actually intended saturday we ended up re newing the pond, major clean and its looking so much better we also have a huge amount of newts so hoping we havent disturbed them to much ... the frogs have been active with frog spawn always a good thing to occupy the kids, although liam is growing fast and will be 13 on the 25th then on the 28th its 31 yrs of me and will scary stuff how did that happen :/
ummm the diet no diet thing :S
so back to it tomorrow again i so have to get on, im gonna try the sugar free thing managed it once before helped with the mood swings :/ but the diet is getting more sugary and i cant do the sugar thing pmt even if i do the rest of the month. I was bad all round this month, but also the weight needs a boost and sugar is a huge thing as far as diets go so im taking blogger diana's advice and trying again :)
Good news Our darts venue is sorted we are now part of Racquet's club the chap there is very accommodating and we had a brill evening celebrating :D
Well, i feel weak as a kitten,i lie , i feel like a dead gnat!
I went to darts last night feeling quite well considering the past couple of days but as i played my energy just when plop and disappeared. I was shaking and felt really out of it, i think after my binge session (cravings mainly sugary or/and cheesy) and having hardly ate the two cramping days maybe my blood sugar levels dropped hence the energy loss and shaking. Today im tired and weak and absolutely fed up ... enough is enough for goodness sake GIVE ME A BREAK! im trying to keep my diet under control now even if not dieting at least trying to make healthy choices and no bingin :S
Short and sweet as of the moment as i need to sleep im half working on paper work since yesterday omg how it piles up :/
cup of tea and another nap first me thinks
BAD BAD me :S
Easter week i decided i was getting no where with diet so had the holiday off, things started good afterwards all good intentions did a bit of gym and felt a bit more on track. But things went from bad to worse on coming pmt i found i was unable to control the cravings and stuffed myself with all sorts of crap omg!
I have had a bad 2 days pmt was really really rough :( cramps were worst in a long time although never good dont know why they were even worse than normal but its lost 2 days for me!Today im back on track, PHEW i have little time left for the big 50 :( im prob not going to do it specially if i carry on like this. I do have to get out of this house but the weather has changed and i hate the cold so much.
I need to occupy my brain with something so im not sat here vegetating, im a major couch potatoe and things are getting worse!
I would like a job despite my protests to will but i know im not up to it at the moment : ( i wish people understood, if i could work i think it would help me get in a routine and sort myself out. I want to be well and back to how i used to be or at least move on from this.
However, at least today im back trying im gonna face the cold ( i hate soooo much) and get out the house, but first i will have a go at the mass of paper work over due to be sorted :/ maybe by the time ive finished the day will brighten ha ha
i am annoyed with myself how can i be so weak and useless i was never like this if i needed to do something i did it , how did i let myself get in this state? my skin is awful my hair is as bad, im gaining weight instead of losing no matter how much i try even when i was soooo sick for a week i put on 3lb everyone else lost half a stone and wasnt as ill as me :(
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY YEAR :(
so far i havent even managed to anything for me, im almost worse off being the heaviest that ive ever been omg omg!
OTHER THINGS :)Did lots of work in the garden and still working on it, weather not so good now so back inside, tuppence did her bit to help lol (hinder maybe closer to the truth)
We did get her digging too ... like we had any choice .. my viki thinks shes a tramp in fluffy clothing lol she should have been a jack russell working dog not a fluffy pretty posh thing ha ha
Im glad things are getting done the house (and garden) have become more and more a mess whilst ive been ill seems everyone gave up when i wasnt able at least now i can bully and function to some degree the house is slowly looking like it used to. Ive worked slowly on getting things sorted and it feels like my home again. Im not a house proud person but i like my home nice, after all as i see it we spend most of our time there (other than working:/) and i want it to be nice, comfortable and clean. I like design stuff and hopefully if and when it ever gets finished it will be a nice place :)
Well its time to sort things i guess both the paper work and ME!
A weekend of sunny days friday and saturday were quite warm but the wind came up and cooled sunday and monday today is bright but cold Brrr
Well well well :( things are as per usual ... ie crappy! mega nasty PMT/PMS monthly curse what ever one calls it now. Cramps have been the worst ever. So ive been laid up yet again, hoping no one has breathed any germs on me cos this is the week i will catch any bugs going.
Im just off to the bathroom for a facial my skin is awful its bad enough with the increasing wrinkles :( :( but to have spotty nasty dry skin too is adding insult to injury :( my hair is not a great deal better i guess all the months of illness have hit me hmmmph like i need anything else grr!
Also im worried about my little tups shes been shivering usually a sign of pain or possibly something wrong like low blood sugar and a few other worrying things so off to the vet as soon as i can get an appointment for her.Hubby to is in need of repair, his knee has been painful for sometime although the knee support has helped i think he should get checked out. Hes also quite a few moles, but i would like him to just get checked out as im sure he has more now.
My nice news is hubby and i enjoyed a lovely weekend, although lots of work in the garden we had a bbq saturday, my back is feeling the strain but cramps have over ridden that for a while :/
The Grand National Horse race was Saturday so we had a small flutter first year ive not won something oddly i did choose the winner 'dont push it' and i dont know why but i went and changed my mind, my policy is never change from your first feeling, so im not sure why i did and lost because of it :/ ... My Viki had a 4th place :) a small pay back for her :)
My face book friends from abroad, have asked to see where i sit and chat from so i posted some pics, thought you may like to see to :)
The bottle of champers is empty, we opened it Easter Sunday when the family were all together and of cou
rse someone had to finish it off lol O:)
Tuppence is perched on top of the sofa bad girl lol and a nice roaring fire because its still cold here despite the sun :/ :D
I usually have a nice duvet nearby too lol i like to be really comfy ... as you can see tea mug there too :)
Well my bath is ready and this face needs to be sorted so bye for now :)
This is as far as we got last year ....the square in the middle is to be done and the grass area at the top by the house.. a bbq to build and the old dog pen taken down as diesel now lives with neil. We also need to put a small fence up to stop the chickens going up to the patio area which is now huge over 200 slabs on the bottom area alone!
Its a big big garden, and so is the front but she also has a side area, we have already built a wall to divide the area so she is private at the side/back.
