Well, I'm still here - its been a long hard toll these last few months, having started to recover from 8 weeks of flu and still coughing a month after that I go and take a contract back at the medical centre only to fall foul of and evil head cold that just put me back to square one :/
2 bereavements and a lot of crap with DVLA and insurance companies and their pathetic useless services which is an on going headache, but working on it.
The doc takes me off the pill that keeps me relatively normal with those nasty womanly weeks and all hell breaks loose along with a lot of snivelling for nothing and ridiculous emotional out bursts. Well thats been sort of sorted and im now trying to get back on track once again
Im still tired and i know i need time to catch up with things, i have a huge backlog of stuff im working on if and when and then i conk out wake up tired and begin again.
The DIET
nope no dieting, even worse ive been so tired ive just ate tons fo rubbish :( and to tired to do anything so not activity at all.
I soooooooo need to get my head round this .
Im trying to drink more water but wow thats not so easy as you would think when your not used to doing it!
I seriously need to get a plan sorted and start sticking to it, for a long time ive had no routine at all, i spent my time struggling to do anything at anytime during illness and ive lost all my momentum and routine along with any motivation.
BUT... i damn well need to do this!!!!
so one day at a time, im not gonna push myself to hard to start as im still getting well and still really tired.
My Nick is currently in Mexico, hes flown out to meet some girl hes been talking with for a long long time now, hes got there safely and a 4am text told me Viri (the girl) is 'amazingly incredible' so guess hes happy lol
Myself, Viki and Will are off to the auction tomorrow one thing it does for me is it gets me off my increasingly large bum and we enjoy the hustle bustle, we have a few bits to sell this week been up in the attic getting rid of the rubbish thats sat there for years.
Hoping to get the house cleared then continue once again with the on going re-furb of our house. Nicks room is to be looked at whilst hes away.= :/
Im hoping to be back and blogging regularly soon just so much to do and im still conking out so i know im not well just because of that when im well i dont do that normal thing called SLEEP although the sleep im having doesnt seem to be good sleep i either conk out like switching the tv on or off and i wake up still tired like ive not slept or im very restless and disturbed sleep.
So waiting for my insomnia to kick in that will prove im ok to move on i will be WELL!!
Off now to browse my blogger pals pages then bed zzz is approaching
liam
my grandson the yoda lol
Friday, 20 May 2011
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
LONG TIME NO BLOG - BUT IM BACK :)
Well - i would love to say some thing has changed but it hasnt much
Im back at work 2nd contract same people but things are different and im not enjoying it like i did the last time - lovely lovely people though :)
Im really really tired - Still trying to sort things out its slow but i think its improving
I had a seriously bad head cold just a few weeks from getting over that nasty 6/8 week flu, its been well hard dealing with everything
Willy (ma hubby :D) was 50 this last sunday - hes not my toyboy anymore - well till June anyway. We had a night out Indian curry night ewwwwwww with friends and out kids and Sunday we had wills family to bbq OMG the weather here in England has been sooooooo nice - well im zzzzzzzing now so will upload some pics of willys birthday then im off to bed - have a browse :)
Im back at work 2nd contract same people but things are different and im not enjoying it like i did the last time - lovely lovely people though :)
Im really really tired - Still trying to sort things out its slow but i think its improving
I had a seriously bad head cold just a few weeks from getting over that nasty 6/8 week flu, its been well hard dealing with everything
Sunday, 27 February 2011
Waiting for the bad things to end !
I start work tomorrow i will be glad to get some routine - its a 3 month contract at same place as last time :
The new week isnt the end of the past bad week Joans funeral is Thursday and we are sitll having to fight for vikis car to be released costing more money than we can afford!
Next week or possible week after we have Daves funeral - tracy is trying to get it so her brother can attend, he now lives in australia tickets are £2000 and he will only have friday to monday so its necessary to make sure things are set up for him to come home say goodbye to his dad and fly home.
The weeks to come are also gonna be filled with dispair and sadness for tracy, and im sure to join in as its a loss to me and my family too :( Hes a huge loss and will be greatly missed
Despite trying to sort through the bad things this week and over the next few weeks, im hoping things will improve for all of us
Im so sad for my viki, she was so happy last week but we will sort it out, its only material things although stressful and has made us unhappy - but we will be happy again, she will be happy again.
The times ahead are gonna be hard, even the material things the problems that its caused, i have to keep that little bit of hope alive that these bad things are gonna end, that some time soon there will be good times to remember - 6 yrs is a long time to go on hoping with little to help keep hope alive :(
The diet - course its out the window and i was just doing so well i lost another 2lbs so thats the horrible 6lbs gone that i put on whilst ill over christmas.
Maybe being back at work will help me, with new routine maybe i can concentrate on other things and the sadness could be pushed aside with focus on some thing else
So whats next
Who knows??
I want willy to have a holiday hes sooooo tired maybe me working will help. I may look at postponing the boston trip to meet my Yoville pals - Ziva is unwell but recovering, Cindy is just recovering from a collapsed lung and she has financial commitments although she wouldnt really be affected as she wont have to travel like the rest of us, Rita has her parents unwell and is having to travel 4hours a day to look after them, and Brenda's mother is seriously unwell too :( - thing is when do things improve for us to say hey we can meet with out anyone of us having such problems that seem to be hitting all of us ??
Art exhibition i only sold a few paintings but made a little money, first time ive not sold most of them - Will and i walked round early so nothing had been sold by the time we left, we usually get the late tickets and i get to see when they are purchased the preview evening but this time i have no idea when they sold.
Collette the Orgainiser is leaving and im sad about that :( i met her replacement stuart, im hoping he will chase me as she always did cos im so useless :S
Hoping this next one i will have more time and get off my butt and get on with things instead of staring into air letting my life flit by !
Well bed calls early start tomorrow, im sure my next few blogs will be filled as usual with doom and gloom but im hoping and praying that things will improve - pandoras box had hope in there somewhere and im hoping it shines on me soon - im not sure how much more i can manage with out a little glimmer of things getting better :(
The new week isnt the end of the past bad week Joans funeral is Thursday and we are sitll having to fight for vikis car to be released costing more money than we can afford!
Next week or possible week after we have Daves funeral - tracy is trying to get it so her brother can attend, he now lives in australia tickets are £2000 and he will only have friday to monday so its necessary to make sure things are set up for him to come home say goodbye to his dad and fly home.
The weeks to come are also gonna be filled with dispair and sadness for tracy, and im sure to join in as its a loss to me and my family too :( Hes a huge loss and will be greatly missed
Despite trying to sort through the bad things this week and over the next few weeks, im hoping things will improve for all of us
Im so sad for my viki, she was so happy last week but we will sort it out, its only material things although stressful and has made us unhappy - but we will be happy again, she will be happy again.
The times ahead are gonna be hard, even the material things the problems that its caused, i have to keep that little bit of hope alive that these bad things are gonna end, that some time soon there will be good times to remember - 6 yrs is a long time to go on hoping with little to help keep hope alive :(
The diet - course its out the window and i was just doing so well i lost another 2lbs so thats the horrible 6lbs gone that i put on whilst ill over christmas.
Maybe being back at work will help me, with new routine maybe i can concentrate on other things and the sadness could be pushed aside with focus on some thing else
So whats next
Who knows??
I want willy to have a holiday hes sooooo tired maybe me working will help. I may look at postponing the boston trip to meet my Yoville pals - Ziva is unwell but recovering, Cindy is just recovering from a collapsed lung and she has financial commitments although she wouldnt really be affected as she wont have to travel like the rest of us, Rita has her parents unwell and is having to travel 4hours a day to look after them, and Brenda's mother is seriously unwell too :( - thing is when do things improve for us to say hey we can meet with out anyone of us having such problems that seem to be hitting all of us ??
Art exhibition i only sold a few paintings but made a little money, first time ive not sold most of them - Will and i walked round early so nothing had been sold by the time we left, we usually get the late tickets and i get to see when they are purchased the preview evening but this time i have no idea when they sold.
Collette the Orgainiser is leaving and im sad about that :( i met her replacement stuart, im hoping he will chase me as she always did cos im so useless :S
Hoping this next one i will have more time and get off my butt and get on with things instead of staring into air letting my life flit by !
Well bed calls early start tomorrow, im sure my next few blogs will be filled as usual with doom and gloom but im hoping and praying that things will improve - pandoras box had hope in there somewhere and im hoping it shines on me soon - im not sure how much more i can manage with out a little glimmer of things getting better :(
more bad news :( In memory of DAVE HILLMAN
RIP DAVE HILLMAN - will be missed always :(
Wednesday i found out that dave had died :( Big Dave is my best friends dad - a person we thought would be around forever - It still doenst seem real that hes gone
He was to go in for tests tuesday but when tracy went to pick him up he wasnt able to get out of bed and was so unwell an ambulance was called .. they thought he had a liver blockage and all the feed back was positive and dave was generally ok ish so tracy came home ... he took a turn for the worse in the night, tracy got to the hospital in time to be with him in his last hours :(
So another funeral - Ive known dave since i was a child, grew up with his daughter, he was a character and a half will be greatly missed, its upsetting writing this but i need to put it down here and let some of this pain from my heart.
He loved life, his family and mine doting on my grandson liam :- it just seem so wrong :'(
Im gonna post some photos of our holidays with dave , i want to remember these special happy days not the sadness and sudden shock
RIP DAVE HILLMAN
Wednesday i found out that dave had died :( Big Dave is my best friends dad - a person we thought would be around forever - It still doenst seem real that hes gone
He was to go in for tests tuesday but when tracy went to pick him up he wasnt able to get out of bed and was so unwell an ambulance was called .. they thought he had a liver blockage and all the feed back was positive and dave was generally ok ish so tracy came home ... he took a turn for the worse in the night, tracy got to the hospital in time to be with him in his last hours :(
So another funeral - Ive known dave since i was a child, grew up with his daughter, he was a character and a half will be greatly missed, its upsetting writing this but i need to put it down here and let some of this pain from my heart.
He loved life, his family and mine doting on my grandson liam :- it just seem so wrong :'(
Im gonna post some photos of our holidays with dave , i want to remember these special happy days not the sadness and sudden shock
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| Dave giving our liam a hand swimming |
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| Ouch dave :s |
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| Dave in Aussie at his boys house |
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| Liam with daves grandson craig dave keeping an eye on them two naughty boys |
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| Dave and Will chillin in Turkey |
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| Dave with grandaughter in Australia |
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
need to change my blog title !
I have a confession - I lied ... not intentionally, but my blog title is incorrect
It seems things just are never gonna get better :( you cant make your own fate or destiny - others interfere with your plans.
You do every thing to be right, good, correct, lawful etc etc..
but some idiot just throws a spanner in the pipe line and totally F**Ks things up and you cant do anything about it, you cant change what they did - you cant salvage anything and say well at least this happened its not as bad as it could have been because even if it could be worse, its to late - the damage is done :( your already effected, hurt, injured or even just made miserable .
Whats happened ....
My viks lovely new car has been impounded .. she did every thing right. got it insured so we could pick it up on getting her documents she got the vehicle tax so all nice and legal enjoying her new car. Its taken all her money and she has a small loan to pay out of her small income but its manageable, but could it just go smoothly like that NO course not!
Tonight she was pulled over by the police she had pulled into a parking space so knew it wasnt speeding, knew nothing wrong with vehicle and quite frankly got out of car quite puzzled.
Police pulled her over as having no insurance - The *"*&"~(*!**$!*!&%!£+! insurance company only put the wrong no. plate details on the insurance (viki never noticed the error on the insurance document) so they have now impounded her car which will cost £150 - also the postoffice (once again) never noticed the discrepancy on the insurance documents and gave her vehicle tax they shouldnt have taxed her, had they done their jobs correctly she would have realised but no they are by law not allowed to give a tax disc without the correct documents!
It hasnt stopped there though, like the heap of crap just unloaded on her there had to be a bit more, when looking for her driving licence the DVLA only show her as having a provisional licence??? WTF??? she passed when she was 18 shes now 31!!!
if she doenst produce in 7 days she will have to sit a new test ... and guess what she cant find her licence omfg!!
I just feel sick to the stomach and soooooooo worried about my vik :(
she may have to go to court for driving with no insurance which is a major offence, although its the fault of the insurers (she gave them correct details) she is responsible for checking the documents to be right - however in her favour is the fact the postoffice missed it too so maybe they will take that into account.
I have had problems with Nick and had to give him a severe telling off, ive been worried about him for some time but he needed to be pulled up about his behaviour. Im hoping it will have made him sit and think !
Im worried about hubby - he looks so tired and old working every hour to catch up on the winter, i need to help him!
Worried about tuppence shes not to well, she has bad time with seasons, i need to have her spayed but shes not taken well to her previous injections and paps apparently dont do well under anathetic so really concerned but need her done for her well being :S
I have a funeral next week to attend :( I hope this is the last
I sooooooo need things to change, i cant see hope at the bottom of this pandoras box of mine, seems to be no light, no let up
Well i guess we will deal with this crap as it comes back to us and sort things i hope my viki is ok bless her shes so upset and was sooooooo happy first time in a long time now this ! all because of some knobs that cant do their jobs Grrrrrrrr
We will see it through together
Guess i will be looking to start my new year again, again :S heres hoping things get better but sadly hope is gettting harder to find :'(
It seems things just are never gonna get better :( you cant make your own fate or destiny - others interfere with your plans.
You do every thing to be right, good, correct, lawful etc etc..
but some idiot just throws a spanner in the pipe line and totally F**Ks things up and you cant do anything about it, you cant change what they did - you cant salvage anything and say well at least this happened its not as bad as it could have been because even if it could be worse, its to late - the damage is done :( your already effected, hurt, injured or even just made miserable .
Whats happened ....
My viks lovely new car has been impounded .. she did every thing right. got it insured so we could pick it up on getting her documents she got the vehicle tax so all nice and legal enjoying her new car. Its taken all her money and she has a small loan to pay out of her small income but its manageable, but could it just go smoothly like that NO course not!
Tonight she was pulled over by the police she had pulled into a parking space so knew it wasnt speeding, knew nothing wrong with vehicle and quite frankly got out of car quite puzzled.
Police pulled her over as having no insurance - The *"*&"~(*!**$!*!&%!£+! insurance company only put the wrong no. plate details on the insurance (viki never noticed the error on the insurance document) so they have now impounded her car which will cost £150 - also the postoffice (once again) never noticed the discrepancy on the insurance documents and gave her vehicle tax they shouldnt have taxed her, had they done their jobs correctly she would have realised but no they are by law not allowed to give a tax disc without the correct documents!
It hasnt stopped there though, like the heap of crap just unloaded on her there had to be a bit more, when looking for her driving licence the DVLA only show her as having a provisional licence??? WTF??? she passed when she was 18 shes now 31!!!
if she doenst produce in 7 days she will have to sit a new test ... and guess what she cant find her licence omfg!!
I just feel sick to the stomach and soooooooo worried about my vik :(
she may have to go to court for driving with no insurance which is a major offence, although its the fault of the insurers (she gave them correct details) she is responsible for checking the documents to be right - however in her favour is the fact the postoffice missed it too so maybe they will take that into account.
I have had problems with Nick and had to give him a severe telling off, ive been worried about him for some time but he needed to be pulled up about his behaviour. Im hoping it will have made him sit and think !
Im worried about hubby - he looks so tired and old working every hour to catch up on the winter, i need to help him!
Worried about tuppence shes not to well, she has bad time with seasons, i need to have her spayed but shes not taken well to her previous injections and paps apparently dont do well under anathetic so really concerned but need her done for her well being :S
I have a funeral next week to attend :( I hope this is the last
I sooooooo need things to change, i cant see hope at the bottom of this pandoras box of mine, seems to be no light, no let up
Well i guess we will deal with this crap as it comes back to us and sort things i hope my viki is ok bless her shes so upset and was sooooooo happy first time in a long time now this ! all because of some knobs that cant do their jobs Grrrrrrrr
We will see it through together
Guess i will be looking to start my new year again, again :S heres hoping things get better but sadly hope is gettting harder to find :'(
Sunday, 20 February 2011
Will things be getting better???
RIP Joan Bunce :/
Another funeral to attend Joan a full of life bubbly woman family friend died yesterday :( I had hoped Ali dying at Christmas and the New Year funeral would be the last for this year but as things have gone on i could see that this year wasnt a great deal better than the rest.
Ali died and we saw the New Year in once again with a funeral
Nick ditched his car and thankfully was ok but the car wrote off
Viki had a house fire and once again thankfully she and liam are safe
Work has been short for will although things appear to be picking up despite these hard times fingers crossed peeps we cant manage any more loss of earnings things are getting real tight!
I was supposed to go back to work but instead they lost the contract and those i worked with face redundancy however, i was suposed to go for 3 months to help with the clear up but after telling me ive since heard nothing and really could do with a second income to help will with our finances, let the pressure off of him for a bit.
I was ill for 6 weeks with the flu - all over Christmas and now pmt every 2 weeks 'darn menopause grrrr'
Mum is still suffering but i think thats how it is from now on and i cant see her till im well
So this year its not a good start Joan now passing away has knocked me again that this year will be the usual struggle but im hoping things will improve....
worried about nick that hes not moving on in life
concerned about viki now shes free and single - just that shes over doing the thing just a little to much on the wild side but as long as shes happy
tuppence needs to be spayed but worried cos shes so delicate but shes having a bad season once again :/
worried about the strain on will, hes tired and needs a rest but finances wont let him yet
worried about Liams teenage attitude i hope it goes as he gets older :S
Car went wrong £800 bill :( just when we almost caught up with the winter weather
Lost my camera - and lost my photos from phone it uploaded and deleted and ive lost them all :(
Lost of work lost re snow = no income :(
My broken heart wont mend but im living with it and coping a little better - some hurts wont ever go away and i haven't felt time heal but im learning to manage the pain of loss
Well are things getting better ???
Im feeling better in myself - a fight against the lows of the flu but in mind if not in body feeling im still clinging on to the top of that pit albeit by my finger nails lol
My kids are safe and well
We had a really good peaceful happy Christmas despite things
Viki has a new car old one out of the way (just hope the paying for it isn't to much)
Nick is off to Mexico for a month i hope his dreams come true and he finds what hes looking for
Will is 50 this year so need to sort a break out for him
Im supposed to be going to Boston hoping its still on
My car is sorted
Will has his new truck (hoping mot goes through ok)
Art Exhibition shortly hoping i sell a few
My friend Deliska is getting married :D wish i could be there but shes in Canada i so hope she has a lovely day and shes lost 100+lbs (cant remember exact) but its loads and she looks fantastic
My blogger friend Jo has moved home and im hoping its a new begining for her too
Diet whoooo
well ive held on my 4lb loss little glitches of a lb (was pmt so hoping its that) but this weekend ive done quite well i think and weigh tomorrow with more hope!
I need to get off my bum pmt once again wiped me out just as i was getting on -and weather is yukky nasty wet cold and grey :(
Im still working on it my fight has not ended i soooooooooooo want to be thinner !
I read a friend bloggers site and was linked to a friend of hers who says shes not starting again and i can see why shes has acheived a huge amount - i however, have not so each day i start again until i acheive something (re weight) each downfall i begin again thats how it has to be at the moment!
Tomorrow ....
well thats another day ... i have a funeral to go to some time soon (arrangements not made yet)
I need to keep thinking that my year hasnt been wrote off because of more crap :(
I need to stay positive despite the sadness and disappointments that keep sneaking up on me and look at things having got better
The nasties do seem to have eased off although many they are not is such abundance and im so hoping that having had the worst of pandoras box its now time that the light shines for me and my family and that light will keep shining bright and strong !
Its our turn now for things to get better !!!!
Another funeral to attend Joan a full of life bubbly woman family friend died yesterday :( I had hoped Ali dying at Christmas and the New Year funeral would be the last for this year but as things have gone on i could see that this year wasnt a great deal better than the rest.
Ali died and we saw the New Year in once again with a funeral
Nick ditched his car and thankfully was ok but the car wrote off
Viki had a house fire and once again thankfully she and liam are safe
Work has been short for will although things appear to be picking up despite these hard times fingers crossed peeps we cant manage any more loss of earnings things are getting real tight!
I was supposed to go back to work but instead they lost the contract and those i worked with face redundancy however, i was suposed to go for 3 months to help with the clear up but after telling me ive since heard nothing and really could do with a second income to help will with our finances, let the pressure off of him for a bit.
I was ill for 6 weeks with the flu - all over Christmas and now pmt every 2 weeks 'darn menopause grrrr'
Mum is still suffering but i think thats how it is from now on and i cant see her till im well
So this year its not a good start Joan now passing away has knocked me again that this year will be the usual struggle but im hoping things will improve....
worried about nick that hes not moving on in life
concerned about viki now shes free and single - just that shes over doing the thing just a little to much on the wild side but as long as shes happy
tuppence needs to be spayed but worried cos shes so delicate but shes having a bad season once again :/
worried about the strain on will, hes tired and needs a rest but finances wont let him yet
worried about Liams teenage attitude i hope it goes as he gets older :S
Car went wrong £800 bill :( just when we almost caught up with the winter weather
Lost my camera - and lost my photos from phone it uploaded and deleted and ive lost them all :(
Lost of work lost re snow = no income :(
My broken heart wont mend but im living with it and coping a little better - some hurts wont ever go away and i haven't felt time heal but im learning to manage the pain of loss
Well are things getting better ???
Im feeling better in myself - a fight against the lows of the flu but in mind if not in body feeling im still clinging on to the top of that pit albeit by my finger nails lol
My kids are safe and well
We had a really good peaceful happy Christmas despite things
Viki has a new car old one out of the way (just hope the paying for it isn't to much)
Nick is off to Mexico for a month i hope his dreams come true and he finds what hes looking for
Will is 50 this year so need to sort a break out for him
Im supposed to be going to Boston hoping its still on
My car is sorted
Will has his new truck (hoping mot goes through ok)
Art Exhibition shortly hoping i sell a few
My friend Deliska is getting married :D wish i could be there but shes in Canada i so hope she has a lovely day and shes lost 100+lbs (cant remember exact) but its loads and she looks fantastic
My blogger friend Jo has moved home and im hoping its a new begining for her too
Diet whoooo
well ive held on my 4lb loss little glitches of a lb (was pmt so hoping its that) but this weekend ive done quite well i think and weigh tomorrow with more hope!
I need to get off my bum pmt once again wiped me out just as i was getting on -and weather is yukky nasty wet cold and grey :(
Im still working on it my fight has not ended i soooooooooooo want to be thinner !
I read a friend bloggers site and was linked to a friend of hers who says shes not starting again and i can see why shes has acheived a huge amount - i however, have not so each day i start again until i acheive something (re weight) each downfall i begin again thats how it has to be at the moment!
Tomorrow ....
well thats another day ... i have a funeral to go to some time soon (arrangements not made yet)
I need to keep thinking that my year hasnt been wrote off because of more crap :(
I need to stay positive despite the sadness and disappointments that keep sneaking up on me and look at things having got better
The nasties do seem to have eased off although many they are not is such abundance and im so hoping that having had the worst of pandoras box its now time that the light shines for me and my family and that light will keep shining bright and strong !
Its our turn now for things to get better !!!!
Its a sunny day in England
Ohhhh we are having some nice sunny days just a few inbetween our usual dull grey rainy skies but what a treat - still brrrrrrr cold although tuesday when i went for my long walk with friend vikki it was very nice with only a slight chill
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