crappiest year ever

Wouldnt you think things would get better by now - 6 years of major crap to the extent of unreality :/

After my mum died wouldnt you think, i would get a small break but no the crap keeps coming - worried about my daughter, finances have taken a hit (as i guess most in this econimic climate) vehicles need sorting and costly again, tikka the dog has to be operated on :( two of my friends husbands are seriously ill- my work has forgotten to renew my contract so a week without work or money well the list goes on i could be here all night :(

I keep trying to change things IDIOTS keep telling me you make your own fate what CRAP i have no control over people dying and ive lost soooooooo many people i love if i could make my own fate they would still be here i cant stop all the electicals from breaking down or the economics of this country reducing our income and costing more to live  ....NO i cant make my own fate, no matter how i try, 6 years of this has drained me ive been running on empty for years , its made me ill and ive spent just as many years trying to recover only to be continually kicked in the teeth just one thing after another WELL GIVE ME A BREAK FFS!!!!

So what do i do now ??? ... Im working a finance plan out, im praying for those ill, im helping my daughter and son and grandson where i can as much as i can, Im trying to stay well, im getting the dog looked at and hopefully she will have a few more years with us.  Im still sorting my mums things out, our tax accounts and our house.
BUT i feel sick inside - sick to my heart, sick to my stomach ... i know i have to go on , i am going on im doing all the above, im on my own cos everyone else needs me and the one person that was there for me has now gone. I miss her so much, but it was time for her to rest she was tired too.

The fight to stay well is still going on, at least im holding on, not sure how!