I have to carry on yes, i know that - LIFE GOES ON - but its an empty life now how do i build on such loss people cant be replaced. Live on treasured memories but thats not living its dream back to a life i no longer have - i cant forget obviously and certainly wouldnt want to, but how do i go on? how does my life go on?
For a long time now the world seemed darker lonelier for each loss it was worse than the time before and now the ultimate price of my mum, i miss her so much.
The funeral went well - well as well as any day like that can :/ the day was sunny all went smoothly the church was packed to capacity no room left but we knew she was well loved, the church is a big one over 300 people attended. She was carpeted with flowers as she wanted to be - we were told how proud she would have been but i think she would be most proud of our family - despite all the problems issues disputes they stood together for her NOW SHE REALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN PROUD OF THAT!
So what do i do now?
Well - im still sorting things at mums. :( once thats done i guess i will have little reason to go there but i have to pass her house everyday i cant go any other way.
I have a little more time at work guess that will keep me busy for a while :/
I need to crack on and diet - i need to lose this weight and get fit i soooooooooo need to.
We need to finish our house so we can finally sit back and we desperately need a holiday - unlikely for a while yet but maybe things will turn up and we will get to have a break
Im tired now need to sleep if i can manage it
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