liam

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my grandson the yoda lol

Tuesday, 16 February 2016

February F off :/

The worst month of any year ! Horrible horrible February.
Dreary cold wet im sooooo tired of it already

Everyone is ill ... yep everyone! all sniffing and coughing and wheezing near me and i already feel like poop warmed up

Stress from work, Fibro flare up agony pain wipeout im soooooooo tired :/

THAT DIET  ARGHHHHHHHHH

Jeez that diet its not happening .. i have to resign myself to the fact i cant do it at the moment :(
Im so tired and sad its just not gonna happen but im desperate to sort it im just getting fatter and fatter bad choices from being to tired to choose any thing but a quick high fat processed rubish garbage food :'( my body hurts how can i exercise i dont know how i get out of bed i certainly have no idea how i get through work ??? i just collapse in a heap of pain aches and exhaustion beyond belief

So what can i do ? im hoping some how i can cleanse my body and it will help but i  have to change the gerneral routine i have because its not helping me i have mega craving for sweet foods anything sugar and the more i eat of it the more i want :/ im looking to see how i can combat the cravings i tried going cold turkey - didnt work :/ i need to find how i can reduce without noticing to much at least at first.
I think some foods increase my problem with fibro as the times ive managed to juice it definitely helps but i cant get into this time i manage half a day then binge then manage another half day then comes the 2nd binge and im really worse off
Well  ... what now ... im not giving up i will continue to try, i just have to find a way
i begin again tomorrow ... i have to do this to help my health its no longer just a i look like a honey monster my legs are aching and why not look what they are carrying !

so day at a time good or bad i will have to see how i go

Work has calmed down maybe that will help and i have 2 weeks off whooooooooop

Daughter in law is still in mexico i had hoped to impress her with a good weight loss instead im probably heavier but i have to stop beating myself up about it, ive been unwell i have to recognise i cant do thing until im ill, i have to learn to manage this fibro and see if certain things trigger it, i understand from other sufferers that cold doesnt help nor does stress both of which i have a lot of at the moment ... i so wish i could juice i know it helps so again arghhhhhhhh

Not much else happening ... just the lots of work lots of sleep lots of pain lots of doing nothing :/
this isnt living is it ?

Remember the non friends friends
i dont really like them ... how bad is that ? im still friends with them but they piss me off !
ummm maybe thats dragging me down to but who do i have without them ? yep mr nobody i like my wednesdays and actually we laugh and enjoy but something has gone and whilst here i probably appear 2 faced its not that at all they are my friends things happened but betrayal takes some thing away leaves and empty place that will never be filled by them again and yes i have them as friends but they are not my soul friends as they used to be they are like anyone i know very well your friendly and kind but your not bosom buddies just friends. i say i dont like them anymore actually i mean i dont like a lot of their behaviour , do we become blind in friendships i see them so differently now and they do the same things but jeez they do erk me :/ why did i not see all this before?
oh well another bug to bare and i dont know what to do about it ... go it alone or put up and shut up ... ive still not made up my mind maybe some thing will happen one way or another ... i need to have some thing help me passed this piggy in the middle thing go one way or another jayne make up your mind instead of playing both sides its wearing me away  ... maybe the gemini in me 2 choices and geminis are torn because both please or annoys so there is no choice but both ways ... i need something to happen to guide me over i guess

so mundane dreary february begone  ... i dont like to wish my life away so much  has been lost to illness but i need some sunshine warmth and things to move on






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