I am well :) how good does that sound and how good does it feel i cant even explain. Despite the upsets of so called friends i have fought off the downs and holding my own.
The diet :D :D
IS GOING WELL i have lost 4 inches round my waist 3 off the hips and 3 off the bust :/ umm i have lost 21 lbs and working on it - best off despite calling it a diet i have not gone hungry i have not forgone foods when i wanted them im following the 80/20 rule - i eat my usual foods just choose the low fat low cal ones with the occasional rubbish when i feel i must but i dont over indulge as i used to ive lowered my bread intake which was a major down fall and pmt week i try to just eat reasonalbly . Other times i try to do 2-3 days strict 2-3 days more relaxed but on mode and then allow myself a little lee way on weekends but when i indulge i dont do it as i used to instead of half a pack of biscuits i have 2 etc - with that oddly i have become that i dont now want any more than the one packet or small indulgence i dont want to binge as i previously did even pmt week .
So, every thing is ticking along - we have the wedding next week, despite my so called friend snake in the grass attitude we hung on for the wedding and then putting her on a back burner i wont fall out with her even though she deserves to be told about her behaviour i dont want it misconstrude as jealousy - one thing i do not suffer from is the green eyed monster however i dont expect to be treated as i have been by anyone let alone my 'friends' her having gone off with what was ' my friends' and put me aside (mainly to serve herself) was i felt a betrayal and that wont go. Some thing must have happened with regards to her though as i recieved the first text since april to ask to go out for a meal and catch up - whys it took so long - we went along during conversation later in the evening she touched my hand and squeezed it as i looked up she had watery eyes, i enquired what was up and she smiled and said nothing - what do i make of that ??? has some light dawned that actually shes not been there for me through out this Guilt maybe? i dont know the reason but it has given me a sense of peace and i can put her aside without the pain i had for some odd reason it has calmed me. As for the wedding i dont know what that will bring - my previous friends will be there one has spoken - the instigator did not speak the friday we went out and looked quite miserable maybe she thought we wouldnt go to our local because she practically lives there but i paid my membership and will go when i like we had a good evening we know many people without 'my friends' i still have friends maybe not so close but there are many that know us and like us - i got along without them before i met them gonna get along without them now - with 7 billion people in the world there is no reason for anyone to be alone. Im have several genrations of family born and grown in our town and we know many many people before she was even born . Why do people always think you need them and cant go on without them. the only thing is i thought we had a good friendship thought we had a bond closer than some and the pain only comes not with loss of that friendship but betrayal many friends come and go and its sad but betrayal is painful :(
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