busy and rough few weeks :/

Well - ughh busy busy busy - been doing muchly - but that dreaded thing attacked me and its been rough - along with it ive been tired and unwell and that leads to the even more dread binging :/ :(

THE DIET

Well im holding my own at the 19lbs loss - but going no where - i know why firstly im eating more and doing less in exercise - ive been busy but its not the busy as in activity to help lose weight. 
Im glad ive not added but if i keep on i will :(
The pmt hit me big time it was a rough one im drained tired and not feeling well and im EATING grrr omg
im sooooooo annoyed with myself but i cant do anything about it - yes i have tried ive attempted to exercise and its not worked ive attempted to keep food under control but ive eaten it before its registered :(

So my goal is to get back to it - the rest of the week is busy im off for some botox umm yep im doing it :/ i feel so old and scraggy im not looking to get young just get rid of the scraggy will do - besides i couldnt afford to eeek!
The wedding is this weekend - had a suprise text to go for a meal with 'my friend' i use the term loosely and all was as it always is i think i said in last post she out of the blue patted my hand and her eyes watered but when i asked if she was ok just smiled  - guilt?? maybe she thought she was losing me (and she would be correct) there is definately some thing going on. However, im ready to put her aside with the others - shes not done enough for me to consider her in anyway my best friend anymore or even a true friend feel used really i wondered if the invite was just a let me look at you as ive had my hair lashes done and lost the weight ,
Wedding will be interesting as i said before the 'others' will be there - i must say i have no inclination to go back i do miss darts i miss the girly nights but hey ho i have moved on i just wish there was some thing to fill in between i just need better friends but dont do anything much to meet them - but times are a changing and getting better :)

There has recently been an upset with my yo friends :( two have fallen out - de ja vue - one has to my horror boasted about getting rid of her kids and not spending any more money on them shes so happy her 'partner' not the kids father decided that the kids  have 60 days after graduation to get out  then they are on their own - shes gone along with it firstly i think shes scared of losing the partner hes clearly domineering just from things she says and other incidents - well one of the girls made a comment about it not being appropriate there has been the usual (again de ja vue) messaging not good :/ :/  i totally agree with the comments that she has been really in appropriate with what she posted ( must be awful for her kids not only experiencing it but then having their mum say so too - its made me angry) so one of the girls decided to delete her and their friendship has gone she said she lost all respect for her and to tell the truth i have too but i love her :S she was my first fb friend on yo we have a special bond im so torn - i hate what shes done but even more what she has said on fb :( i feel 2 faced and a hypocrite :( :( it hurts that our girls are now torn like i say its de ja vue - just as its happened with my darts team its now happened with the yo girls im so sad - may be thats whats made this last couple of weeks tough i felt so bad :( and im not over the other situation yet ughhhhhhhhh arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ive so had enough :'(

Well moving on some thing ive learned to do a little but not hugely yet 
I'm gonna post the dresses - not good photos as the camera was lower than me so pointing straight up to my belly and certainly not flattering :/  but i still have a lot of work to do on the diet yet - losing the 19lbs its suddenly dawned me how big i had got and had been in denial - many have noticed the difference but its mainly off my top and face - my arms are still big and the belly needs a lot fo work yet i have lost about 3-4 inches and my hips are definately going down (my biggest and slowest area)  im in my old jeans and the new bigger ones that i had that were just fitting snuggly are way to big im glad to say even though they are new and  hardly worn - ive def gone down a dress size and looking for the next dress size :D :D

 Pics of the wedding to come after saturday - hoping for a sunny day dont want the hard work of my hair and outfit ruined and sure the bride and party wont want it raining either

so thats it for now - docs in the morning so need to sleep early start !