Found the last couple of days rather odd - saturday i had my first good day in like FOREVER! it was nice to feel 'normal' like my old self , someone ive not felt like for so long i hardly knew me - i know sounds odd last couple of days ive felt kinda numb - with some moments of dispair as i continually got bad news - today at work i had the feeling of - well hard luck it doesnt matter any more - :/ i liked saturday i wish i could go back to being like that, as i used to be - the numbness is odd i hope its not a lull before the storm or may be its a lull before better things - i sooooooo hope so
Last week my viki got herself some cats two lovely kittens macey and mini minx aka narnia the black one i have re-named the minx lol
Whilst life seems to go on for everyone else i seem to be stuck in the whirl of being the one who clears up and sorts out just about everything for everyone whilst they just dont seem to care about the consequenses - im to tired now - i think ive done my bit - they have to do theirs and stand on their own feet instead of mine! i want a life, and more so now that i have lost the past few years with illness and having lost so many friends and family its made me think that i may not have long left to try and enjoy this life so im looking at doing something about it !!
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