liam

liam
my grandson the yoda lol

Friday 22 July 2011

Wedding bells ringing for my friend Deliska

Wishing my friend Deliska and her husband to be (in a few hours) Geoff a wonderful won
derful day I hope they have happiness for the rest of their lives and enjoy their special day 

THE HAPPY COUPLE :)






 This is the bracelet i sent her with and old bead a new bead 2 borrowed beads so she gets to keep the repllica and send the 'borrowed' one back (as its borrowed of course lol) and something blue - she has a bride and groom, wedding bells, wedding cake and a heart .

Friday 8 July 2011

waiting for something?

I have this strange feeling of waiting - waiting for something to happen i guess - not a forboding - well i dont think it is, just this odd feeling . I dont feel i can get on until 'whatever' it is has happened . I dont like it !!!


Nick is planning to go live in Mexico - i think it will do him good ! This is him with Viri the girl he has met in Mexico.






he needs to get on with life, it seems to have gone on hold since his accident and i think it will be a good learning curve for him
I hope things go well for him and he has a good life - its gonna be hard for me, i guess you think your kids are always gonna be close by , and i will miss him - but i do think he needs this - i think he really needs to begin living !

I sent my friend Deliska a bead bracelet for her wedding present - shes done a superb picture - i sent her beads : a some thing old - although i had several i chose a golden one, i know her them is yellow and white daisies - something new i got a nice new white bead -some thing borrowed i got 2 beads she has to send one back as its borrowed and she gets to keep its twin so she has a reminder of the borrowed bead - and some thing blue of course a blue bead :D i got a bride and groom a wedding cake a wedding bell and an eternal heart with a couple of other beads - its up to her now to build her story. I hope she has a wonderful wedding day and life ahead of her :)

Well i have lots to do today and i dont know where to start :/ i could so do with a cleaner few days a week just until things get sorted  here - the house has so much that needs to be done and hubby is off working every hour - my merc stands rotting :'( i cant see it will ever be done ! but i have my kids they are healthy and safe and its all i really want.


We had a superb Christmas this year - the best for soooooooo long one to cherish !

Well its 7 15 am Hubby has gone off to work and i guess i had better get off my bum and begin sorting this place out again :/

Monday 4 July 2011

feeling oddly numb!

Found the last couple of days rather odd  - saturday i had my first good day in like FOREVER! it was nice to feel 'normal' like my old self , someone ive not felt like for so long i hardly knew me  - i know sounds odd last couple of days ive felt kinda numb - with some moments of dispair as i continually got bad news - today at work i had the feeling of - well hard luck it doesnt matter any  more - :/ i liked saturday i wish i could go back to being like that, as i used to be - the numbness is odd i  hope its not a lull before the storm or may be its a lull before better things - i sooooooo hope so






Last  week my viki got herself some cats two lovely kittens  macey and mini minx aka narnia the black one i have re-named the minx lol

Whilst life seems to go on for everyone else i seem to be stuck in the whirl of being the one who clears up and sorts out just about everything for everyone whilst they just dont seem to care about the consequenses - im to tired now - i think ive done my bit - they have to do theirs and stand on their own feet instead of mine! i want a life, and more so now that i have lost the past few years with illness and having lost so many friends and family its made me think that i may not have long left to try and enjoy this life so im looking at doing something about it !!

Sunday 3 July 2011

More bereavements :/ NOW THATS ENOUGH no more please !

Maureen Shipperly - Billy Smith both passed away last week and i have news that one of my best friends husband has 2 months to live soooooo enoughs enough ! When my nick had his serious accident, my mum was in hospital having major surgery at the same time - i lost several people i cared about within those same few months in that 2 1/2 yr period we lost 19 family and close friends (this isnt including other people i have know well ) Fortuneately god heard my prayers for my boy and he is safe and well, my mum has never fully recovered by she is still with us for both i thank god daily.
In 6th year  from the above , we have now had over 40 of those family and friends pass away - it has been just not stop ive even lost count - i was seriously ill for a long period and its been a long hard toll to recover but im getting there with help and support from my family and friends.

Depression leaves me with 'bad' and 'negative' thoughts and i use this blog to vent - it has helped often and kind comments from people who have come by has helped to so despite all the dispair i post this blog has helped get me through some rough times just by writing out the hurt and pain helped release it from me a little and made it more copeable


So thank you to those that have come by its always very much appreciated - im working on good thoughts and blogging but when every week is much like this last one its difficult

Thank you Marie xx

Thank you Marie   - i am  hoping life improves soon - its been extremely hard for a long time now, far to long. The difficult thing to cope with is losing so many family and close friends - i do look to god i know he was there and heard me when i needed him the most and he looked after my boy, i thank him daily - This week there are 2 more bereavements and my friends husband has been diagnosed with leukemia - its hard to stay positive when all you have is such bad news but im still trying and hoping i get the strength to keep fighting on. Thank you for your comment Marie, i hope life is good for you and pray that you (or anyone else) doesnt have to endure this sort of pain and loss - i truely hope you have all thats good in life, may god be with you always and thank you for coming by xxxx

My fluffy tuppence

My fluffy tuppence

tuppence

tuppence