Easter week i decided i was getting no where with diet so had the holiday off, things started good afterwards all good intentions did a bit of gym and felt a bit more on track. But things went from bad to worse on coming pmt i found i was unable to control the cravings and stuffed myself with all sorts of crap omg!
I have had a bad 2 days pmt was really really rough :( cramps were worst in a long time although never good dont know why they were even worse than normal but its lost 2 days for me!Today im back on track, PHEW i have little time left for the big 50 :( im prob not going to do it specially if i carry on like this. I do have to get out of this house but the weather has changed and i hate the cold so much.
I need to occupy my brain with something so im not sat here vegetating, im a major couch potatoe and things are getting worse!
I would like a job despite my protests to will but i know im not up to it at the moment : ( i wish people understood, if i could work i think it would help me get in a routine and sort myself out. I want to be well and back to how i used to be or at least move on from this.
However, at least today im back trying im gonna face the cold ( i hate soooo much) and get out the house, but first i will have a go at the mass of paper work over due to be sorted :/ maybe by the time ive finished the day will brighten ha ha
i am annoyed with myself how can i be so weak and useless i was never like this if i needed to do something i did it , how did i let myself get in this state? my skin is awful my hair is as bad, im gaining weight instead of losing no matter how much i try even when i was soooo sick for a week i put on 3lb everyone else lost half a stone and wasnt as ill as me :(
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY YEAR :(
so far i havent even managed to anything for me, im almost worse off being the heaviest that ive ever been omg omg!
OTHER THINGS :)Did lots of work in the garden and still working on it, weather not so good now so back inside, tuppence did her bit to help lol (hinder maybe closer to the truth)
We did get her digging too ... like we had any choice .. my viki thinks shes a tramp in fluffy clothing lol she should have been a jack russell working dog not a fluffy pretty posh thing ha ha
Im glad things are getting done the house (and garden) have become more and more a mess whilst ive been ill seems everyone gave up when i wasnt able at least now i can bully and function to some degree the house is slowly looking like it used to. Ive worked slowly on getting things sorted and it feels like my home again. Im not a house proud person but i like my home nice, after all as i see it we spend most of our time there (other than working:/) and i want it to be nice, comfortable and clean. I like design stuff and hopefully if and when it ever gets finished it will be a nice place :)
Well its time to sort things i guess both the paper work and ME!
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