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liam
my grandson the yoda lol

Monday 19 April 2010

lovely weekend crappy start to the week :/

Its been a lovely weekend, YES the sun has been out in England :) we were supposed to go away for wills birthday but a mess up with our finances didnt allow us so we have re booked for 2 weeks time.
We sorted the pond ewww and worked till late saturday. Sunday we continued our garden work as the sun was still there and warm whoo hoo we never had barby food so i cooked a roast and we sat in the garden for our sunday dinner even nick joined us from the depth of his little hovel of a room lmao!

Sooo why today am i feeling low?? Im worried about the money i know because its not been sorted and our savings is in a 4 week transfer account which means without the wages being sorted we have a long wait which we cant do :(
I paid round, and would normally leave some in the bank but i didnt this week just to much to pay out but i knew wages were due in so it didnt worry me to much but oddly i did have this horrible feeling it wouldnt be there ... just because we were going away, when it wasnt there again today it left me feeling sick. Any time i think we are gonna be short i put in a transfer so we have back up but we've not been short and didnt think it was needed. The current employers pay up fine every other time so why not this week they keep saying its been put through the bank but obviously something is wrong :/ :/
Why am i letting a glitch like this make me feel this way ? Yes im worried thats what i do :/but its not a crisis situation we will get by, we do have money just cant get it!
What is worrying me more is this really low feeling i have, there is stuff i need to do but in all attempts so far today ive not been able to move much more than to eventually fetch a long needed cup of tea, its scaring me ... so dont wanna go back to this!

I;ve been a little worried about tups she was shaking and definately not herself, i think she must have ate something (actually she eats everything except her dinner:/) but shes ok now, shes very dirty after helping in the pond and garden ( ive cleaned the carpet again that she helped change the colour of)
I was keeping an eye on her ready to call the vet but shes back to her old self so im assuming it was tummy ache. Little MINX


Ive been reading blogs to hopefully to take my mind else where and at least its some thing other than crying, worrying or sleeping my day away.
So many bloggers out there has such a lot of support, many are struggling in similar ways to me, some with depression or/and weight even just the reality of daily life being a nightmare, some cope better than others, some like me collapse for a while, but the comments of support are so lovely, kind, caring people and i love reading them.

Im annoyed im feeling like this after a good weekend i actually almost felt normal. SNARL!!


Friday the girls and i sorted out our new darts venue, but went on to have a girly session all verily tiddly lol was an unexpected extremely good night and started off the weekend nicely, our plans were scuppered but with the sunshine we were quite happy to sit at home and enjoy it. We have lots done and a sense of acheivement along with dirty nails ewww :S

KICK ME UP THE BUM :/ i need to move and get out of this dull drums , it scares me any time i feel low as i dont feel i have any control now, nothing to stop me from drowning.

Im off now, take tups for a walk and maybe wake myself up from this and get on with sorting stuff!
Seems every time i get something sorted 20 other things join the queue,.
BEAM ME UP SCOTTY ummph even hes not there when you need him lol
ok tups walk then house work i guess :(



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