Impending doom of the approaching 50th arghhh

Oh no oh nooooooo 11 days to go omg ... im officially old ! yes i know its not really that old everyone keeps saying ummm however, in kids eyes your old at 30 and ancient at 50 after that well??

I guess i wouldnt mind half as much if i didnt feel 'old' but lately i ache like never before, the extra stone ive put on is taking its toll to and boy am i feeling it. The second thing that makes it worse are all my friends (some older) and they are running round all spritely and full of energy ... im not being funny but wtf happened to me?

im constantly whining and moaning about my aches and pains and im getting on my nerves let alone anyone elses :( i wanted to see my 50th in a dress size smaller but instead im close to a size bigger :0

My friends have got me vouchers for pampering as they asked and thats what i wanted, i think they are giving me this week so i can get all the pampering done for next when its my birthday. Would like a spray tan and some of the new eyelash extensions. Botox will be required sooner or later lol kinda looking sooner, ive decided im not gonna be one to sit down and grow old gracefully i dont wanna look like my daughter but i dont wanna look like mum either just doing ok for a 50 year old would be good but im kinda sagging now, the whole body is suffering.

DIET ummm i cant do it this week, im in binge mode due to that evil monthly thing and its no good pretending im gonna be good im not gonna kid myself im trying but im not gonna beat myself up about it maybe next week i can get my head round it and begin again.

Darts night was good. we got the 3 aside win and a new huge trophy tracy got runners up in mixed pairs but that was it for winter season, summer season is starting already no break this year, im hoping i feel better by wednesday :/