DIETING (before xmas ??)

The dreaded diet is going no-where .... drastic measures are needed and today im on slimfast hoping it will kick me in gear then back to healthy eating

For some time ive been yo yo ing on 2lbs up 2lbs down getting no-where then i will have a gain of 4lbs and not move down from it only to start hte 2lb yo yo ing again :( so 2 replacement meals for me this week and a healthy evening meal lots of veg.

Ive been trying a depression boosting foods diet and i think its helped the only problem is AS PER USUAL is sticking to it and sadly its that PMT week and ive struggled only to find a packed of crisps to curb the craving for a moment :( really annoyed with myself 

Note to self  DO NOT purchase crisps then you cant eat them! 

PMT brings the salt and sugar so crisps and chocolate ughhh!! thankfully inbetween i stuck to my healthy mood lifting foods and not been as bad as usual but it has held my weight in place and hence ive not moved :/

Im busy decorating today so hopefully that will keep my mind off food - The C thing coming up is cause for concern with all the delights of food about all the dining out and drinking :/ im hoping i can at least manage 80% of the time then i wont mind the 20% but i sooooooooo want to get thinner :( time to get my arse in gear or put up and shut up . Sadly now being double my 7stone weight i keep thinking if i dont get in control i will be one of those people they have to knock the house down to get me out, i will end up spending my life in bed eating :(  - ok maybe not but who knows i never thought i would be this weight i was almost (naturally not forced) annorexic didnt matter what i did every cream cake in sight and i never moved an ounce i only went up one dress size having  my kids and straight back to flat stomach ... After my back injury i went on the sliippery slope of weight gain initially being under 6stone from hospital i had to put on weight for them to let me home - i had a bad reaction to the anaesthetic urghh! mum fed me and fed me and i ate all i could as i didnt want to go back there 2 months of my life was more than enough in hospital! I became a bordom eater through this and its a habit ive not broken however, to add insult to injury i was put on meds that caused weight gain (not to help me put on weight i might add) i had no idea and when i was up and about eating normally and still putting on huge amounts of weight i spoke to the doc (clearly something was wrong) oh yes its the meds your on he casually tell me GRRRRRRRRRRRRR i've never been able to get that weight off. Reading teletext one night it listed meds that cause weight gain and there were mine along with beta blockers and various others and apparently they stay in your system slow your metabolism OH THANKS FOR THAT DOC!!! 
They now have the nerve to tell me im over weight ha ha ha !!! guess what i say to them!

So here i am, needing to get off my bum but low blood pressure and fainting being my excuse to sit here a little longer and now its cold to, first frost :( i hate winter !!

Well off to do that decorating before i decide to go to the fridge despite having had my first slimfast :/