Its difficult :/

I wanted to change my thinking and doing to improve things  to some how put aside all this horribleness that has been in my life for such a long time, and i wanted it to start showing through on here with more positive thoughts and writings - im still trying - however when your life is just filled with sadness and pain almost every day its sooooooooooo difficult, no one really truely understands. When some thing is relentless how do you keep going without screaming, no one can keep having this sort of trauma and pain without it coming through as its the main part of your life and there is little else .

BUT

Moving on ... well
So whats new, tuppence is having her spaying tomorrow - im really worried, shes my fluff ball my little pooch shes laid with me when i couldnt move and let me cuddle her when the pain was so bad and noone else was here to hold me. Tikka has had her lump removed and the fact that she is doing so well makes things easier, shes an old pooch bless  her but shes doing well. The lump wasnt benign :( but it wasnt the most vigorous and we will have to monitor her and see how she goes, in the mean time shes fitter and running ha ha yes she ran. shes also got her voice box back :/ ummm lol but it all means shes doing well!
So i may be a wreck tomorrow eeek.....

 ~THE GIRLS

My friend Tracy has her birthday Saturday :) myself and friend Vikki are going for lunch  - need to go find a pressie - will be good to have a distraction whilst tuppence has her op.

UMMMMM DONT ASK HA HA HA!!!

Well what next ... we are decorating finally the building work is done and i can get my ' shed ' looking like a house again !! 2 bedrooms underway, we have the tiles for the bathroom at last. The only building work to be done will be the skylight in the landing but it wont interfere with anything else and will be sorted next year. I wont be doing new carpets till next year either i want to get the general decor sorted first, However, this week is drain the money week - end of month all has to be paid and we are a little short from paying for the dogs and we grabbed the tiles whilst they had a discount money we had not intended to spend. We also have to pay for new year tickets and there is a ladies night next weekend so bit of spending going on with little dosh  :S

THE DREADED DIETING

Well getting no where fast :/ however im still trying, i have been watching Food Hospital on TV and a lady with depression used food to get well and it worked for her so here i go also along the way i will hopefully lose weight - i have made the bolognaise and its delicious i also had vegetables a 'proper' dinner and im upping the water as i know for a fact that helps because ive done it (and it helped my skin - was best ever) im struggling with exercise but have done some jogging just need to get back in mode and off my bum its been a rough week (again grr)
Im taking so suppliments to help fill the gaps im low on Vit B's iron etc and having a bit of omega 3 and zinc - just been recommended cod liver oil a friend has had some very good results so worth a try! 

Well thats it for today ... still clearing things so off i go again and need to shop for that pressie :)