So with hope in every bit of this broken heart im moving on and trying again and again if i have to, to make my world, my little bubble better. Ive prayed and prayed only to be knocked back time and time again with a vengence - so im just gonna let it be, i have to take what comes i guess as we all do - ive been dealt a rotten hand for a long time now but im here and fighting on ....
So whats going on ..
Bathroom is still being done eeek! taking forever but we are on the homeward track - disaster after disaster happening with wrong tiles and discontinued tiles we have found enough to get on, in doing so its left us seriously broke :/ but we have pretty much all we need and can now get on.
We also have all the lounge tiles - necessity made us purchase them now too - due to the last of them being available, leaving us to payout at a time we need to budget but its done now and we have enough of them!
No money eeek - hopefully thing wont be to tough but we have just had a bad weather warning of big freeze for the next month :/ typical - we'll just have to struggle through, we've done it before. It means no work for hubby if its to bad ... take it a day at a time ,
Vik is now looking for a job due to the idiots at the hotel letting her down badly - her bank is being sorted after being hacked - its been tough for her bless her - she had a bad year last year with a flood fire vehicle problems due to incompetent DVLA and insurers and liams xbox was hacked, now shes been hacked again VISA really need to sort their security out!
But shes gonna be ok, i will make sure of that!
Nicks doing ok in Mexico - he had the flu at christmas i think it left him a little low - hes not able to work this first year and i think hes feeling the loss of his independence but now hes well hes seem more upbeat again.
Arghhhhhhhh THAT DIET !
Well ive opted for part slimfast diet and lost 4lbs so far - its not easy but i need to lose this weight - this week was hard as my friend had a birthday and i put a lb on despite being what i thought was rather good however - plodding on and still trying!
Ive cleared a lot of paper work - done wills accounts, sorted the last of mums pension thing out - ive cleared and shredded , there is still lots to do but hey im still working on it. Suprisingly i feel better for it that ' at the back of your mind' kinda worry has lifted its helped with the stress its calmed me . I have 6 paintings to complete for the exhibit in 17 days eeeeeekkkkk! im struggling but i have to put something in despite not really being happy with them, otherwise i will lose my place and there is a long waiting list.
Well things are not brilliant and i cant say they are better but im trying again and thats a positive i didnt think i would have - especially after Martyn's death, i had a moment i thought thats it i cant do it any more, but im not going back down that dark pit ive clawed my way up and ive been hanging on the edge for a long time, im tired and worn but im digging my nails into the sides and staying at the top and one day i will be standing back up there and THINGS REALLY WILL BE BETTER :)
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