Ive had an excellent few days health wise wheyyy heeeyyy lol dont want to tempt fate but its been so good to feel well no sicky bug no colds and in the general well being of myself i have been able to cope better.
But theres been bad news too, my daughter has ended her 10yr relationship with neil :( its made me a little sad, i guess mainly for him cos i know he still adores her and hes been a father to my grandson and always loved him like his own, but i guess my daughter feels the relationship has run its course.
Although we were never close, neil had become part of our family and he was a huge personality in it. They are still friends so he will still be around, but it does seem strange for him to no longer be part of our intimate family life.
Xmas coming up and it just seems strange that he wont be there with us, and to me it feels like another part of the life i am accustom to has gone. It feels like yet another loss :(
I am left wondering what Viki is looking for in her life, i had thought she was quite settled ( which in itself suprised me.) i always knew she would not look at getting married, she has a restless soul, i think neil has done well to keep her interested for so long.
I find it sad, but they seem to have moved on and thats the problem with me and depression i cant move on with the ease that most do. I hope neil and viki find happiness, but it seems now it wont be with each other.

On another note , nick has, it seems found someone, after the break up of his 5 1/2 yr relationship at the time of his accident, its taken 4 years for him to settle and possibly trust. she seems a lovely girl, but its early in the relationship so i guess we will see. His ex hurt him badly so im hoping, in giving his trust again to a relationship, even if it doesnt work out that at least she will not betray him as his ex did.
Soooooo, 2010 is gonna be new in many ways. Some that we are used to being around wont be and new faces will be.
Im hoping 2010 will be a good year for us all and the past, at least be left behind instead of taking up my life with the pain it has left. I know change is part of life but im hoping any change in the future will be less painfull than the last 4 yrs, i just wish i was one of the people that didnt feel it so intensely, maybe as i become more well the depressive feelings will leave and i will be able to feel things in a more 'normal' way instead of the mole hill being a mountain hopefully it will remain a mole hill :S.

THE room is almost done a bit of painting and electrician is needed but as such its done and we can now move nick and begin the re-decoration of the rest of the house and finally finish it!!!
For next year, im looking at it being a ME year. I will try and repair the damage of illness, rest and pamper myself spend time and money on myself some thing which is long overdue. Looking after myself has not happened in a long time, whilst ill, you dont look at yourself but as i emerge from this darkness i am now seeing the damage its done. 2010 is repair me time, but not only in looks but mind to, im hoping it will be a year where i be come stronger and the pain thats inside finally leaves me or at least numbs and most of all i hope there is no further pain to add or replace ~ a little happiness wont go amiss some thing else which is long over due !