:/

Those i keep relying on seem to keep letting me down :/ i have not asked for anyone to help me in any way, but in the weight loss thing i was led to believe that certain people wanted to also lose weight and we would persue it together, but time after time there is an excuse and because of it i end up not going. I had intended to go to the gym this morning, neither Vikki or Tracy were going so i thought i would make the effort on my own, but Tracy said she would do swimming so i put it off she let me know 20mins before going that she wasn't :/ grrr im sooo annoyed this keeps happening i dont mind gyming on my own but prefer to swim with others and will didnt want to come. It was late to consider gym 8pm is my latest, So once again ive done nothing! I felt quite tired early evening so decided as i was swimming i would have a little nap/rest, will woke me and i washed and got ready for nothing AGAIN!

Im thinking of knocking the gym thing on the head, im now heaviest ive ever been and £1000 lighter in my pocket (could have spent on my car :( ...)
Am i wrong to be so upset, but i keep being let down like this i know others have busy lives and more to do than i have but why say things when they have no intentions i could have got on with things i wanted to do, it has upset me and quite angered me. Tracy came on facebook and i had to switch her off i couldn't speak to her about it, i would have said to much :/

I needed some support and its all been nothing more than talk and good intentions, but also i would have made other arrangements but because of them i didnt thinking i was swimming tonight i was even woke up from a sleep i really could have done with. I needed the support more today as i got weighed and the dreaded scales gave no good news ive put on yet another lb since starting my diet huh? whats that all about :'(

Can i think of a positive thought at the moment being angry and upset?
gonna try .... ummmmmmm ummmmm

My viki thinks i should keep the painting for the exhibit that i like without any prompt she told me i shouldnt sell it :) even offered to get me another canvas so i can attempt another ... its good to get some praise it had been self praise till today ha ha ha

think thats about all i can manage today will try to keep that in my mind instead of fuming about the gym !