So where are my friends that are usually wanting me to do some thing for or with them, guess they didnt like the e-mail well who cares im not here for their beck and call drop me cos they've found some thing better to do and dont have the decency to tell me... some friends i have!
Well im more positive today and the fact my so called friends clearly dont give a damn has made me more determined to show them i dont need them either. Ive never been reliant on anyone but i do expect some respect, i dont expect to be used for their conveniences and i dont expect to be dismissed like i dont matter, well i matter to me! they can do the gym on their own in future.
I think i may wonder out tonight wills not been out for ages money has been short i will be so glad when things get back to normal. Well fed up with things at the moment and little support, ironically my support comes more from those far away than those close to me.
Im still feeling really tired, i soooo hope im not going down with anything, just cant shake it off, everything is such an effort i cant explain how hard it is even just sat here, sounds ridiculous doesnt it... how did things get like this? when ill it didnt matter when well i was able to get on with things but this inbetweenie crap is horrible.
As ive said many times im aware of how miserable (more so in my thoughts and writings) i sound but when with friends im probably not as miserable as most of them, maybe its time for new ones ? definately need to change this life i have but where and how etc ... Is this it for me??? god i soooo hope not !
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