Its been a very hard week since the funeral, i have slipped down the hole and its scared me... mainly cos i couldnt stop myself, every little thing has seemed a major incident, im such a misery i feel for those around me not that i think all that i say and do is unjustified, some, just should have been more thoughtful not only to me but all round!
I have found a new web site to help me sort my diet its free and almost as good as the previous one i paid good money for ... i like it and im monitoring what im doing although not always on track at least i know im not !
Tracy wants to go to gym, i've not decided yet im still low and yes i do know exercise helps with the happy thingys in the body.
Im still annoyed and i dont wanna go back to hanging on others i may go but im doing my own thing and not being messed about!
I went out for a while with will and had a drink i feel a little better for it, tups came down too, landlord is one of a minority that doesnt mind dogs in the pub.
Im feeling quite tired but cant sleep (yes have tired, only so much laying in the dark you can do) im at least warm again but i ache all over, just feel im going down with some thing. I want to sleep!
Im so sad at the moment and dont know why i cant think straight everything just seems so pointless and nasty yet i know its not.
What am i do, what a state to be in at least whilst ill i was oblivious, when well of course its all different anyway, but this grey dark middle nothing area is driving me mad!
guess i will try bed again night peeps have a good week :) im gonna try to X
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