Alone again - Naturally :(

Would have been my darts night - im missing it - i miss my friends :( but i have to remember i guess that they werent really my friends, like most others they used me . My so called best friend is staying neutral only so she gets the best of both worlds - ive always know she was a licker but i didnt think she would go this far - its the second time shes left me alone there wont be a 3rd !

Im trying to move on - looking at new things to do, but its hard when you have no one. Hubby is tired he works so hard most everyone i know does other things they have families my kids are grown and gone even my grandson teenager is to old now to keep nan company :(

Im tired - tired of being used, tired of all this pain, tired of being blamed for some thing i didnt do, im tired of losing those i care about - seems every thing i do is wrong 7 years of crap and being crapped on :(

Ive sooooooo had enough - i cant fight much longer , i cant keep being kicked and getting up for more i just cant. 

I some times think of Martyn and the choice  he made and can almost understand why, theres only just so many times you can get up.  Im tired of being sad