Well the funeral is tomorrow :( i soooo don't want to do another one no disrespect to spiv (dave pullen brother in law) its just there have been so many and its really shook me that yet another year has started with a bereavement along with the other crap it was the last straw! And to add insult to injury I'm ill again... went to see my friend vikki as it was her birthday sunday had a couple of drinks played some darts, i got hotter and hotter had all the jibes about hot flushes and my age, but my whole body ached, all my joints hurt, so when everyone decided to track back to vikki's house i had to decline. i came home bathed and collapsed in to bed at 8pm, then in the early hours 3am ish i woke soaking wet and sick as hell arghhhhhhhhh urghhhh i hate being sick, i should have known all last week i was in sleepy mode, i only sleep when im ill grrrrrr.
So with a heavier than heavy heart i have to go tomorrow with not only the sadness of losing my brother in law, and my new year in tatters again i also have to bear the cold feeling unwell :(
I keep trying to think of positive things to put here in my blog to help keep me in a positive frame of mind but there is nothing ... every darn day some other miserable thing happens :'(
My little viki came in and made mummy a cup of tea, will is floating ar
ound looking for work, he seems to have some lined up now but actually like now now would be a good time to have some and we need the weather to stay with us!I've gingerly eaten some toast and although initially felt better for having something to
Leat i am now 2 hours later regretting it ! I'm pulling my hair out what the hell do i have to do !!!!
Sadly i am feeling at the moment that it would be good to just shoot myself ( just kidding folk
s~! ) its just for goodness sake! enough is enough is enough blah blah blah I'm so exhaustively fed up with it all ~(and so are those around me )
LOOK GUYS even my images are grim arghhh !
NO WONDER NO ONE WANTS TO READ MY BLOG must make them as miserable as i appear to be :(
i feel like changing the name of my blog to 'things will never get better' all my hopes for a better year seem to have all but vanished
Impending funeral and illness has left me on a downer today so forgive me, i started with all good intentions and look where Ive ended up, oh well I'm gonna go back to bed have a long day tomorrow RIP SPIV x
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